Saturday 26 October 2013

Stories & Opinions: How to Get Over a Breakup

We dated for three years and I truly did every single thing I ever could for her. I truly loved her, but now she claims I was only dragging her down and that she had to get rid of me; that I don't deserve her. When I decided that if she truly wants me out of her life and if she truly thinks that she's better off without me, then I would call her to settle the few things left between us (a few items of mine/hers and the running of a guild we did together) and I would never contact her again (as she wanted)... but she said that doing that was selfish and I still only cared about myself. I don't understand how the two go together, but I put every single thing I possible could into this relationship only to be absolutely and utterly rejected, so... I'll need some heavy treatment. :/ I have some happy memories, but I can't live life just hoping she'll call me back or something.

Well... it looks like my only chance of ever continuing that relationship is if she ever calls upon me one day in the future. In the mean time, I need to learn to move on. How exactly am I supposed to do that? In other words, how do you suggest I recover?

3 comments:

  1. Vulture26 October 2013 at 12:15

    Try not to fixate too much on the pain of it, but on the lesson of the relationship. turn the whole story around form a sad ending to a "really nice textbook on dating." hopefully you can come out of it with a better idea of what you want in a mate, and what you want in a relationship.
    as for coping: distraction works well. nothing more distracting from the pain of a relationship ending.. like beginning a new one. just be sure to realize it for what it is. again, don't fixate on the pain, but on the lessons. sleep plenty.
    most important: DON'T CONTACT HER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. EVEN WHEN DRUNK AND IT SEEMS A GREAT IDEA. or in other words, don't crawl back.

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  2. Drew26 October 2013 at 17:43

    Stop thinking about her. Absolutely do not imagine doing something nice for her. Absolutely do not imagine any future circumstance where you might spend time with her in some way that you would enjoy. Decide that even if she offers you something positive, you absolutely will not ever accept it.
    ... That should be enough. If she has nothing to offer you, and you can't give anything to her - the relationship is dead.
    Don't imagine any apologies, or other shit that may change her mind and somehow fix the relationship so that you can enjoy time with her some time in the future, either.
    The woman is dead.

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  3. Titi26 October 2013 at 17:45

    That's a bit two short. It takes about half the time you spent together to really get over someone. In your case up to 1 1/2 yrs. The only thing I can suggest is to stop communication, delete her phone, her emails, and history (it helps, although I had a hard time doing this myself on a previous relationship, I have to advice on it as it will keep you out of trouble)
    Also, get involved on extracurricular activities or sports, something that can keep your mind occupy. Get into chess, it's addictive by nature and will help you in the long run. Don't rush into dating someone else, is way too soon. Sleeping with someone for the he'll of it with no strings attached may work well in about 3m to get her out of your system.
    But don't do something stupid either like rushing to do it with whoever, if possible get to know the person a bit first and most important, do not rush it.

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