DON'T SNOOP!!!

Everyone who snoops finds what they were looking for. If you think your partner is cheating and you hack into his/her Facebook, you will find some random message with an old female(male) friend that you could probably construe as cheating somehow. Just don’t do it. Even if they accidentally left their e-mail open on your computer and you’re drooling to read through it.

Don't!

RELATIONSHIP FACT

 Two = Company
Three = Crowd
Never forget!!!

Relationships: Direction or Speed??

 

What matters isn't how long you've been in a relationship but whether or not you're in the 'right' relationship.  Many single people are often overwhelmed by been single; and wouldn't mind been in a relationship with just anybody.  You should wait till you find the right person. A wrong relationship can cause so much destruction to your life and wellness balance.  Wrong relationship brings regrets and causes damage to your psychological and emotional being.   Desperation for "just any relationship" has even resulted in death - suicides and murders. Please be wise.

While waiting for love

While searching for the "right one" to love and be your partner, you should not hesitate to make a list of what you want with your partner and do not settle for less. You need to be very satisfied indeed before committing

and this is not a warning not to commit yourself long engagements.

A relationship like this would always lead somewhere and it is not just another love affair.

An example of a sensible list is

(1) intelligence,

(2) connection,

(3) personality,

(4) smart and

(5) sexy.

Usually, you’ll find more lovely things than you “humanly” wished for.

You need to understand that in life also you find different kinds of love. For instance, the love you have for your parents is very different way from the way you love your wife. And then there is soul mate love which is all encompassing and beyond description or understanding. It is just pure love and emotion combined with caring and desire for each other, for it is never platonic in any way shape or form.

Two genuine lovers are in constant amazement of each other and can hardly believe their luck that the other one is in love with them. They cannot even think they deserved the other one and thus treasure each other beyond words. There is really nothing on this earth or in eternity which will be able to keep them apart or break them up.

You Should Correct your Prejudice Against LOVE before Dating

Many people have usable relationships because of a pre-existing prejudice against love. Relationships have little or no weight because they feel no one can be trusted due to an experience from a powerful figure. 

Suppose a girl is raised by her mother in a single parent family, where she unconsciously was made to accept many negative ideas about her estranged father. As she grows, she is likely to have this in her mind that men are not faithful and she always need to guard her individuality. Irrespective of what is the truth about her father or the fact about men, she has to enter a love relationship with a neutral mind, never a predisposed or “affected‟ mind. A pre-inclined mind shall hamper her relationship with her man. Therefore, she shall have to unlearn her “prejudices‟ before she opts to have her own love life.

This preparation and ultimate readiness is crucial for success in love. In love, unlearning is always a better virtue than learning.

There are two ways of arriving at a blank or value-neutral mind.

One is you are born with. This is good but not desirable as it is animalistic and does not have a sense of distinction between different other levels of consciousness. Its sense of righteousness is very intuitive, confined to very restrictive instinctive definition of survival.

The other is a mind, which has been made blank by shedding, unlearning and unwinding the mind off all unconsciously acquired cultural elements of the consciousness and this is desirable as this mind has reached this stage after experiencing all shades of consciousness and consciously choosing to have a blank one, which is truly objective.

The Cultured lady

“Hey lady!” This is the way every average woman wants to be addressed. The matured female population often want to be addressed and rightly treated by the opposite sex but how many are ready to do those things that will “command” the respect and conduct from them? These days, how many women are knowledgeable when it comes to simple etiquette?

 

Simple etiquette aren’t about good cloths and makeups, neither is it expensive bags and shoes. You may wear the most expensive designer and still be the object of mockery. You aren’t a lady because you have good cash in the bank to command undependability, neither can been married to the richest man in town do the magic.

 

Being a lady is more about your carriage; how you sit, walk, stand, talk, look, laugh, choice of dressing, respond to incidents, interact with others, and so on. Let’s have a closer look.

• A lady does not fight or exchange words in public. It is so shameful when decently dressed ladies exchange words in public and, in some cases step into the madness of fighting.

• A lady eats honorably in public gatherings; and doesn’t target the “over flows” at parties. You think people don’t see you but your name is all over the place and that has become your trade-mark. Men notice you and mark you as “anything for the belly…with money/food and I’ve got her”.
• A lady knows how to fix breakfast, lunch, and dinner for family and friends; she spends less on restaurants. No matter how greatly the modern world is trying to change this…it remains a bitter truth.
• A lady doesn’t go vulgar; she knows what not to say. Some women are now worse than hoodlums and thugs when it comes to the dirty words pouring out of their mouths. The senseless ways and words used in greeting…all in the name of informality. It doesn’t stop there, women now nickname themselves which plainly points them to be indecent ill-mannered females.
• A lady doesn’t get involved in illegal transacts; either for association or money. Drugs, human trafficking, prostitution or call-girls aren’t for ladies…they are just disgrace to womanhood.
• A lady cultures the best habits like brushing last thing at night as a must and gets her man to imbibe the tradition.
• A lady dances, but never like a maniac or psychiatric patient. When it comes to alcohol or smoking…you know that’s a stretch.
• A lady treats her body specially and so doesn’t open her legs to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. A lady never sells her body for better grades, contracts or employment opportunity.
• A lady wipes gently, with wet wipes, her private part after urination. How many women know what it means to have wipes in their handbags? Most women now bother more about designer makeup but never about hygienic body care.
• A lady dress and courteously flaunts her good curves without exposing what should be covered. She wears what accentuates her body and beauty without selling herself cheap.
• A lady uses her makeup to enhance her beauty not look like a masquerade or appear like a work of art. A lady further knows better than to bleach.
• A lady knows her weaves needs to be well kept and free from smelling so as not to suffocate her man.
• A lady surely doesn’t wear dirty underwear. She prefers cotton for long days because they help her breath well and avoid smelling.
• Lady and conspicuous tattoos don’t go together….not even in poetry. You don’t see tattoos on royals!
• A lady doesn’t try to feign wealth…courtesy, cherished virtues and humility are her flaunted wealth. She’s never ashamed of her background and won’t change it to please men/society.

Long goes the traits of lady etiquette. Last line is…the feminine features on your body do not make you a lady…neither would you find an ill-mannered lady. The name lady is reserved for the well-mannered females.

Men and Infidelity

Falling in love is the most wonderful and exciting thing ever, but women are frequently afraid of falling in love with a man because of the worry “he might cheat on me down the line”. Indeed, a cheating boyfriend/husband is every woman’s worst nightmare. If infidelity is often at the back of your mind, it’s now considered okay to say you are not been paranoid. Why? Studies and surveys have shown over 50-60% of all married men have an affair at least once in their married lives. There’s good news you have 50% chance a man might not cheat you. But still, with a 50-50 chance of infidelity poisoning your relationship in the future calls you to alertness.

There are basically three reasons a man might cheat on you. Understanding those might help you.

He wasn’t ready: This reason for cheating is entirely the guy’s fault. There are a lot of men out there who think handing a relationship is a piece of cake. But when the rigours and responsibilities of a serious relationship comes flying in, they turn around and run. Here they run craving their bachelor-single-unattached-free life. Never rush into a relationship because it takes so much to keep it going.

He got bore or unhappy: If he got bored or unhappy in the relationship, the woman 'may' have played a part it that. After all, it is important you do your part in keeping the relationship happy. A happy relationship entails two happy partners. The problem here is most partners sit and wait for the other to make the first move before they do their part. Do your part whether he’s doing his or not. That way, you don’t have yourself to blame when issues go out of hand.

He succumbs to pressure: Let’s be honest here, the entertainment industry, society and friends suggest it is “ok” if not “cool” for guys to have affairs. By accepting it as a norm due to it frequency, this is how every single one of us echoes the same sentiment. Some guys can bow to pressure of cheating just to ‘fit in’. It is crazy but true. If we accept it, then we must accept the heart-breaking consequences when it happens to you, your sister, daughter or friend. Speaking of pressure, the pouring pressure of relationship/marriage on a man can also lead to infidelity.

For unmarried folks, examine a typical case that occurs 7 in 10 chances. Within two weeks of the first date, they’re already going steady. Before the first month, they “sleep together”. Then just few months later, during the relationship, they start getting bored and unhappy, feeling stressed and later its bores down to venting frustrations at each other. Before you know it, they separate ways. Those that get married few months right after the “sleeping together” phase start witness fades in initial attraction and excitement…they also start feeling bored, unhappy, entrapped and that leads to arguments, disagreements, fights and eventually separate ways.

Lack of preparedness, boredom, dissatisfaction, peer pressure can be avoided by simply building your relationship on solid foundation. Then you are likely safe from infidelity. Remember the work of “relationship preservation” is continuous.

Infatuation OR in-Fascination

Romantic attraction between two people could either be just a ‘deep fascination’ or ‘fervent love’. There’s a difference between these two and before moving forward to take any action regards the “attraction”, proper discerning should be done. Though, both love and passion are strong feelings for another person, they are very often confused with each other. Basically, love is permanent while mere passion/fascination is temporary. Also love goes through bitter, trying and painful moments; mere fascination on the other hand is retained because it seems sweet, sweet and sweet – no real trail of commitment.  Take a look at these five differentiations between the two feelings - passion/fascination/infatuation one hand and genuine permanent love on the other hand.

1. Passion and Affection
Passion (Desire) is the basic characteristic of mere fascination/infatuation. You just find each other appealing and so you are attracted to each other without intense feelings from the heart. Of course there’s bound to be sexual attractions you feel for that ‘partner’ but it just remains till the freshness of your relationship stays and weakens then fades away after that. Affection is the basis on which love develops. Hence there is much ground for it to grow. It is intense and gets stronger with time. Simple!2. Shallow and Mature
It’s no doubt that mere fascinations are shallow because they are just created on that moment – attraction and pleasure. When you want more without thinking much, you are been delusional. Real love is more mature than what you find on the streets between teens and among many adults.  Love is a more mature feeling to arrive at and to retain. You clearly understand what is good and what is bad; what would make you happy. Love makes you think about your present, future, self-security and happiness. When you are truly in love, you are just ready to give without expecting anything in return!

3. Fascination and Commitment

‘Fascination’ explains what people now mistake for love these days; it is just a crush or a physical desire for another person. If you don’t get him/her in sadness, annoyance and jealousy sets in you; that makes you feel you loved him/her. Love is exactly the opposite feeling. It is characterised by patience and ready for responsibility and liabilities when unfortunate situations come up. These can’t be found in infatuation/mere passion.

4. Security and insecurity

There is immense security, if you are in love because you know, no matter what happens the other person will not leave you behind. But if you are just fascinated and fooling each other to be in-love, your subconscious knows you might lose your partner or they might turn away or cheat anytime!

5. Beautiful and scary

Love is undoubtedly a beautiful and healthy feeling. Love accepts the other person’s imperfections. You are accepted for what you are and that is a great thing. On the other hand, infatuation is scary and that’s where people act like what they are not for the desire to remain ‘wanted’.

‘Mistaken in-love’ is common among youths; many realize the difference and what they want as they grow. Now you know.

Signs he wants just sex from you

There are many men out there just interested in scoring some "actions" with ladies and then making a switch. This isn't news. Girls say it a lot and guys admit it. Except you are only interested in counting the number of guys that have "gone through" you as a lady, you would be more cautious of how the male-folks relate to you, distinguish you, and most especially – who you eventually get on with.

How can you know what they next guy that approaches you has in mind? They all say quite the same thing and pressure you almost the same way. There are some actions you have to read and questions you should ask yourself. These questions would tell you if he's just trying get into your pants or he's a real deal.

¤ How does he communicate with you? Most guys text and mail girls they want just 'a thing' from. They find it extra stress making those calls due to the extra work need. He'll prefer to use smileys/emoticon in place him carrying it out. If he can chat you more often, reply your messages, then ask yourself why not a call that'll take less energy.

¤ Has he said he's not ready to be in a relationship? It is textbook warning that most girls do miss. He said he's not interest in a relationship but he trying to be 'intimate' with you. When he keeps claiming he's last relationship took a toll on him and he's needs time of relationship but he attempts getting closer to another female. How does that balance up in the world of the sensible?

¤ Does he limit meeting you in just one restaurant? Hiding you from the world in order to minimize the need for explanations to the world after he has gotten what he wants and cut ties with you is the objective. He may say it's his favorite, give locational reasons or suddenly become an expert in detecting the restaurant with the best fries/chicken.

¤ Has he been making too many promises? Men with good intentions make promises, men with good character keep them. Real men know the weight of promises and avoid making many promises. When a guy waltz to you promising too much of this and that, then there's high possibility he's trying to say what he thinks you want to hear to enable him get 'some' soonest.

¤ Has he been making last minute plans to see you? He brings up the idea of hooking up with you at the 'eleventh hour' mostly at night. That's the definition of a 'booty call'.

¤ Does he avoid deep personality conversations? Yes he knows your name, current engagement, frequent locations and daily activity patterns. A guy that limits himself to shallow things about you doesn't want to be around for too long. That also makes it easy for his conscience and brain to forget you after the affair is over.

¤ Has he been all about getting physical when you around? When his hands does not stop wondering and he even voices getting intimate whenever he thinks he can get move on to second base, you know what he wants. When it's always about that getting physical when you two are alone, that's a "use and dump" game he's playing on you.

¤ How many of friends of he's has he officially introduced you to? Keeping you off his social life makes the job much easier for him after he dumps you. This is why he'll do as much as he can not to introduce you to his real buddies (except those that play the same game he does).

Now you know. Avoid been taken as 'a minute refreshment'. Live like a queen and then you can be treated as such.

Is This Love? Teen Tips for Romance and Dating

Love can take you to new highs -- and new lows. You may have the strongest feelings of your life, which is great when things are good. But if things go bad, it's devastating! Here are six dating tips to help you keep your head during this exciting time.

Dating Tip 1: Take Your Time

Some teens date, some don't. Girls need to feel good about themselves before they start to date. Pure advice? Only date if you know yourself and know you want to date. If you're not ready, it's cool to stay single and hang out with your close friends.

Dating Tip 2: Find Someone Who Likes You Back

Feelings that aren't returned can make you question everything about yourself. Did you say something wrong? Were you wearing the wrong things? In a healthy relationship, the feelings are mutual. You respect each other and have fun together. If this doesn't describe your situation, there's nothing wrong with you, but you probably do need to keep looking.

Dating Tip 3: Know When to Move On

Sometimes you have to admit it, the relationship isn't working. Maybe the love of your life has turned mean and selfish. Maybe you realize you want something better. If a boyfriend doesn't give you what you need, walk away. Girls are told most times by wise mothers, "It hurts now, but you can get through it."

Dating Tip 4: Talk About Facebook Before You Talk on Facebook

Social media puts the ups and downs of dating out there for everyone to see. If you like a guy or he likes you, it's perfectly OK to ask him not to post things about you online, including pictures. Some things don't have to be shared with the whole world.

Dating Tip 5: Protect Yourself From Pressure

Pressure is not love, and it's not even normal. Most teens say they've never felt pressured to be in a relationship before they were ready. Still, a little mental preparation never hurts. Decide ahead of time what your values are and how far you want to go. That way, you won't have to figure it out in the heat of the moment.

Here are a few concrete things you can do to keep yourself out of the pressure chamber:

• Avoid situations where a guy might expect more than you want to give.   
• Go out with boys close to your age. Girls who go out with older guys are more likely to have sex before they're ready.

Dating Tip 6: Give Love Time to Grow

Sometimes the idea of love is better than love itself. How do you know if you're really in love?

If you're infatuated, need constant reassurance, and have trouble thinking about anything else, these are signs you're not really in love. It's fun for now, but in time you'll probably feel disappointed.   

Mature love grows stronger with time. The more you get to know each other, the stronger your feelings. And you don't have to be someone you're not. You like each other for who you truly are. If you're like most people, finding mature love takes more than one try, but it's definitely worth it.

6 Signs A Lady Is Immature

1. She chews gum everywhere: Even when Alex Fagusion, the former Manchester United coach was still active, he had limit of gums and where he chews it also. For heaven's sake, how on earth will a grown up lady chew gum like its a science competition? This is far from hilarious!

2. She's too gullible: Many people are been moved by the society, people or trend. However, gullibility is an offence! When you are easily tricked by men and cheated, then you start crying "all men are the same/wicked", please grow up... intellectually.

3. She takes you one step backwards: This stems from excessive bills she necessitate for her guy. She demands this and that, she's never satisfied, she takes anything that seems appealing to her from your apartment, she never shares in your dream, when you intend taking her out, she probably brings along her friends etc. How then will a guy plan well for himself?

4. She dresses almost unclad: Do they think they look more attractive, sexy and "marketable" when they dress almost unclad? "Let's call a spade a spade, such dresses make them look like a slot, prostitute and not a wife material." - Ebenezar Who told you that you'll easily get husbands when you put on such dresses? But, this however doesn't say one should dress like a beggar! Just a simple, classy but decent dress should do.

5. She uses fake/unknown identity to test her new Boy friend: This is common with teenage /young girls who don't want to miss-date (date a guy who flirts) or just to establish a trust on him. Girls who do this fall within the ages of 16-24yrs. They use/buy lots of sim cards, change voices to test their boy friend. Many go as far as getting another facebook identity to chat him up just to see if he flirts or not. Little do they know that these hide and seek game provoke mature guys/men who happen to be their boy friend.


6. She makes inconsistent decisions: It is often said, don't make a promise when happy and a decision when angry. She decides on this today but before Paul and Peter flies away, she's back to what she decided against. She however doesn't stop at that but changes decisions, makes promises but however return back to her former state. This isn't helpful in a relationship.

Disappointing Andrew

Andrew my boyfriend, now with an “ex” suffix was studying for his Master degree in order to get one of the best jobs in town and after which we could start talking about marriage - at least that was the plan.

Six years I loved him! I hoped and felt I had found the one.

I thought one day I’ll walk down and meet him at the other end of the aisle.

I wasn’t stupidly in love or living in a love bubble. No, not for six years.

I saw true love in his eyes just like Jesus saw honesty, dedication, selflessness and love in Judas Iscariot - before betrayal that is.

Andrew loosed his virtues and betrayed my trust.

He just wasn’t the same sweet guy I knew and loved spending my time and life with.

He no longer spoke to me like his angel.

He acted wrong and I pointed it to him just like we previously do, but his response was a declaration of war.

I wasn’t to speak to him in a tone that seems we were in a relationship, but rather like I was receiving a favour from him.

Next to no communication, minimal contact and absence of any expression of love pointed to that fact that I didn’t have his love again.

Andrew, oh Andrew, you have been said to cheating and now I see for myself.

Sadly it’s with the same girl I forgave you for betraying my trust with.

And what do you have to say for yourself?

Nothing but denial at an evidently exposed scandal.

Wow!! Just like Uncle Shaggy taught you in the song “Wasn’t me”??

It’s best to part ways with you now than later.

Guess what…

Now I can give some quality attention to Naeem, my cute crush.

Looking back makes me wise; looking forward makes me brave; looking down makes me humble; looking up makes me strong.

Before Dating, Remember..

Before you get involved with someone, a gentle reminder. No one's perfect, they have a past, they've made mistakes here and there, and they're going to mess up sometimes. They're not always going to know what to do or say, they're not always going to be able to understand you. But if you still want to be with them after they gave you reasons why you shouldn't be, then they deserve the best you have to give.

6 Most Common Relationship Regrets

Relationships have so much in it; the beginning, the going and the 'after that'. Physically and emotionally, there are bound to be regrets. For men and women, the regrets differ.

Here were the three most common regrets for men:

-          Being too shy to make a move on a prospective sexual partner

-          Not being more sexually adventurous when they were young

-          Not being more sexually adventurous when they were single

And here were the three most common regrets for women:

-          Losing their virginity to the wrong partner

-          Cheating on a present or past partner 

-          Moving too fast sexually

More women than men even said having sex with an unattractive partner was their top regret.

What are yours? 

We just need to..

We need to teach our DAUGHTERS the difference

between

the man who flatters her

and a man who compliments her.

A man who spends money on her

and a man who invests in her.

A man who views her as property

and a man who views her properly.

A man who lusts after her

and a man who LOVEs her.

A man who believes he is God's gift to women

and a man who remember a woman was God's gift to man.

We equally and importantly need to teach our sons to be

that kind of MAN

5 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating This Valentine

1. When your partner (for no good reason) wants to celebrate Valentine's day the day before or the day after: If your partner is celebrating the holiday with you Feb. 10-13 or Feb. 15-18, chances are he’s cheating. Valentine’s Day takes place on one day. If he is finding excuses not to spend that day with you but wants to spend days before or after celebrating, you’re not the only one. 

2. His work demands are suddenly increasing around Valentine’s Day: If your man starts telling you a week or so before Valentine’s Day that his work schedule is more demanding and he may be spending a lot of time at work on Valentine’s Day, he’s cheating. He’s attempting to settle your mind before you catch on to the fact that he isn’t going to be spending time with you. 

3. He doesn’t spend “prime time” with you on Valentine’s Day: If your man is a clever cheater, he may attempt to spend some time with you on Valentine’s Day, but he’s going to make sure he’s spending “prime time” (7pm-midnight) with someone else. Most couples go to dinner and spend quality time together during prime time hours. If he’s having Valentine’s Day brunch with you and is missing during the evening, he’s with someone else. 

4. He has a sudden emergency on Valentine’s Day: If your man claims that “something” came up and he can’t articulate what the matter is at that point and time, he’s spending Valentine’s Day with someone else. 

5. He showers you with gifts but not his time: As mentioned previously, a man’s time is the most precious gift he can give his woman on Valentine’s Day. No matter how lavish his gifts are, if he isn’t spending time with you on Valentine’s Day, he’s with someone else.

16 Things Every Woman Should Know How To Say To A Man

The worst thing a woman can be in a relationship? Silent! On the other hand, the art of expressingourselves in living words, not typed ones, proves increasingly challenging. Here are 16 things I, like many of you, wish I learned to say to a man right as I came of age instead of a decade too late. For the parents out there, I think it’s a good idea to talk through these with your daughters before they start dating.

1. Stop. Most of you have been in a sexual situation where you wanted a man to stop. The ability to say ‘stop’ when you feel uncomfortable starts with an acknowledgement that you don’t owe him anything. You get to decide what you do and don’t want on the physical side of a relationship.

2. Commit to me. If a lousy, half-commitment or friends-with-benefits scenario isn’t what you want, then ask him to commit. You are your own worst enemy by allowing him to string you along without any declaration of intention.

3. I’m going home now. He hasn’t earned the right to touch you or have sex with you when you don’t want to. Tell him you are going home and don’t listen if he begs you to stay. Know how to spot compromising situations and get out.

4. You hurt my feelings. Don’t wait until you have completely lost it to express how you feel. If your guy does something that hurts you, tell him. Little confrontations along the way make for a much healthier relationship based on good communication. We all hurt each other, but we must learn to express our emotions before we get hit the boiling point.

5. This is how I feel. We all have junk and it’s important to be vulnerable with your man and tell him how you feel about the pain in your life. Let him in slowly and trust him with your emotions.

6. No. He wants you to go home with him. He touches your butt. He makes an inappropriate joke about you in public. As women, we must learn to say ‘no’ and stand up for ourselves. Don’t apologize and don’t be silent.

7. This is what I want. He isn’t a mind reader. Use your words and express your desires.

8. I want to be with you. Learn to say this (sober, please) because you’ll want to say it to a man one day. You can’t expect him to read your mind, so step up to the plate and tell him how you feel.

9. You have what it takes. Chances are the man you love will struggle at one point or another with his identity. Maybe that’s through a career failure or maybe it’s because of some negative messages he’s grown accustomed to hearing and believing. Look him in his hurting eyes and tell him he has what it takes. Tell him you believe in him.

10. My __________ is really important to me (career, faith, children, etc). Don’t be a chameleon morphing your desires into the man of the moment. Learn to stand up for who you are and what you believe in. Don’t  apologize for being you. A relationship is never worth compromising the core of who you are.

11. Please stop contacting me. You shouldn’t have to live in fear of the next angry text you’ll receive. Tell him upfront not to contact you anymore because you need to give yourself time to breath and heal.

12. That behaviour is unacceptable to me. Set standards for your romantic life and know how to express them in a kind, yet straightforward way. As Steve Harvey says, “Men respect standards. Get some!”

13. No, I won’t send you a picture. If he threatens to break up with you because you won’t send him a picture, then he needs a good punch in the face. The right man won’t put you in a compromising situation and won’t make demands of which you aren’t comfortable. Delete him from your phone and move on.

14. Your love doesn’t define me. You are not defined by how many men are lined up outside your door. Define yourself as one radically loved by God and don’t let his volatile desires steal your confidence.

15. My life doesn’t revolve around you. A 10pm “where are you?” text doesn’t cut it for you. Meeting up with him at the last minute will only reinforce his behavior and the anxiety pumping through your body awaiting his text is toxic. Tell him to make a plan and that the last minute text just won’t work. Anymore, at least.

16. I am worth your words. In a world where arguments, breakups, and threats are common over text message and social media, know how to cut off an on-screen conversation and ask to have it face-to-face. A real man won’t hide behind a screen. You are worth his words.

Adult truth: 5 Lies about Marriage

Dreamy singles think it will make them happy, restless men and women think it will make them feel complete. We take apart the five most popular cons that mar marriage. 

1. I won’t be lonely: Being lonely or having company has nothing to do with getting married. Many loners remain so even after marriage. A long- suffering woman shared her woes; she said that though she was married, she was always lonely. “I never felt that we shared anything. When I spoke, he heard but never listened. On holidays, I never felt that we were together.” Those who are lonely and feel that marriage will be a solution need to analyse and identify what they are feeling. 

2. Anytime sex: Sexual desire and frequency is dependent on libido, compatibility and the acceptance of the word ‘sex’ among both partners. Many partners, who have a deep-seated resentment for each other and are constantly bickering, are not having enough sex. Maybe one of them thought that marriage would satisfy their sexual desires, but that didn’t happen, and so, the blame-game continues in other spheres of life. 

3. I won’t work: This is quite an unrealistic thought, as increasingly, more couples realise that marriage does not mean financial security. Especially women realize that the lifestyle and aspirations one has calls for both spouses to generate income. Financial security is rare if you are not taking care of it yourself; there is no escape route. And if you have not discussed this with your partner, he or she may feel resentful of being considered a meal ticket. 

4. Big happy family: Most of us are conditioned to win over the love and affection of the in-laws. We bend over backwards, expect to be loved immediately and are baffled when the feeling is not reciprocated. The biological imperative of birthing gives rise to a lot of unconditional love and acceptance which is hormonally absent in in-laws. So it is advised to give respect, love and attention, but don’t expect much. 

5. Kids can fix it all: Couples feel that unhappiness in a marriage will be sorted by parenthood. This is another misconception because if there is incompatibility, a child would actually come into an unwelcoming environment and may even be resented. Parenthood should be a well-thought out decision considering aspects such as – Are we ready? Do both of us want children? Do we have all the help we need? Do we agree on core values?
 

What is LOVE?

This is a question that makes the best of literates search for words. Quite frankly, it’s simply had to define emotions to the precise extent that you would feel the receiver has the perfect picture you’re trying to paint. Love, on a unique platform is; expressed in various ways, felt during several occurrences, strengthen by a wide range of circumstances, and survives unbelievable test of life.

After been confused by the feeling that ‘no word is appropriate’, many finally resort to the conclusion that love is best felt, expressed and observed than described. Attitudes, emotional sensations, dispositions, reactions, among others have been known to define and describe love. According to the Greeks, there are four types of love – kinships, friendship, sexual and divine love; these seven attributes describes genuine case of love in all four. 

Love is:

1. Kind and Merciful: In times of need and when mistakes are been made, real love comes to play and makes it all go away. Kindness and mercifulness are humane attributes; however, love pushes the boundary much further.

2. Sincere and honest: Genuine love promotes constant sincerity and honesty among people. Love makes it hurt you to act otherwise, because dishonesty immediately ad constantly becomes a very heavy burden on you.  

3. Courteous and Respectful: Actions during interpersonal relations expresses love if it is present. However we choose to react to each other, treat each other’s wishes and speak to one another expresses the love we possess to each other.  

4. Fearless and Strong: Love kills fear and increases strength. Period! It is a fact that has been established over time. When others fear for their lives and can’t associate with someone, the person he/she loves tames that perfectly. Hatred brings weakness.

5. Truthful and faithful: Love has no space for lies and cheats. The devastating effect of acting opposite truthful and faithful surely hurts love.

6. Corrective and Protective: Unpretentious love would dislike causing or spreading danger while preventing mistakes from repeating themselves.  

7. Active with Faith: Love exists on the leap of faith. Real love is never stagnant or impotent; it is always showing and proving itself.

 

You are to express all these acts of love to yourself and others in your daily life. 

Bottom line: One question, have you really been showing and receiving true love?

Beware of "Greek gifts"

The term, ‘Greek gift’, is used to describe a gesture that comes with strings attached. It is the strategy of giving someone a gift with the intent to entrap him or to influence his subsequent action or to trick him into a compromising situation. For some people, it could actually result in death. 

There are some gifts with the intents of making you 'owe' the person, then you'll feel bad not bulging to wrong deals. People have been noted to give sex to people just so they can pass communicable diseases or blackmail the individual later on. At workspaces, social hangouts, and neighbourhood, these deceptive people sharing "evil gifts" are all around you.
 

Always wisely examine every proposal brought to you, including those by seemingly well-meaning people. Do not be in a hurry to accept suggestions to do something or enter into very attractive deals that appear too easy and demands little or nothing from you. Nothing of value and enduring comes cheap. Always look out for a hidden trap or trick that could throw you into a public scandal and shame, or eventually cost you dearly. When you come to a crossroads in life; take a knee, think and ask for help to handle all such tricky and tempting situations. 

Bottom line: All that glitters is not gold