RELATIONSHIP FACT

 Two = Company
Three = Crowd
Never forget!!!

You Should Correct your Prejudice Against LOVE before Dating

Many people have usable relationships because of a pre-existing prejudice against love. Relationships have little or no weight because they feel no one can be trusted due to an experience from a powerful figure. 

Suppose a girl is raised by her mother in a single parent family, where she unconsciously was made to accept many negative ideas about her estranged father. As she grows, she is likely to have this in her mind that men are not faithful and she always need to guard her individuality. Irrespective of what is the truth about her father or the fact about men, she has to enter a love relationship with a neutral mind, never a predisposed or “affected‟ mind. A pre-inclined mind shall hamper her relationship with her man. Therefore, she shall have to unlearn her “prejudices‟ before she opts to have her own love life.

This preparation and ultimate readiness is crucial for success in love. In love, unlearning is always a better virtue than learning.

There are two ways of arriving at a blank or value-neutral mind.

One is you are born with. This is good but not desirable as it is animalistic and does not have a sense of distinction between different other levels of consciousness. Its sense of righteousness is very intuitive, confined to very restrictive instinctive definition of survival.

The other is a mind, which has been made blank by shedding, unlearning and unwinding the mind off all unconsciously acquired cultural elements of the consciousness and this is desirable as this mind has reached this stage after experiencing all shades of consciousness and consciously choosing to have a blank one, which is truly objective.

5 Ways To Attract The Right People Into Your Life

Whether love life, business, or friendship — attraction follows pretty much the same rules. And they might not be what you think.Ready to finally start attracting the right people into your life? Follow these five tips:

1. Get clear on who you are, not who you're told to be.

So often, our desires are a lot more aligned with society's expectations than with what we really want. Is a good-looking guy or girl really your top priority? What about a sense of humor? Do you really want to work around the clock for that rich client? Or would a relaxed atmosphere with a little less money work for you?

2. Picture your ideal, and be specific.

You can't get what you want if you don't know what it is in the first place. Start thinking about the exact person you want to attract into your business or your life. Remember, you're the only one setting the rules here, so the sky's the limit. Be specific on everything from their secret passions to their inner fears. When you know what you're looking for, you're a lot more likely to find it.

3. Get really good at repelling people.

The most common barrier to attracting people into your business or life is trying to please everyone. If you're keeping everyone happy, then you're not being special to anyone. When you are authentically yourself, some people are inevitably going to be repelled. And that's a good thing. Once you start sending away the wrong fits, you're making room for the right ones to come in.

4. Let yourself be found.

Think of it this way: You're a lighthouse calling the ships in. If you don't shine your light bright enough, no one's going to be able to find you. So put yourself out there. Place yourself in situations where you can be found. Introduce yourself to everyone. Be as much of yourself as you possible when you first meet. Give the right people a chance to find you.

5. Be open to whatever comes along.

At the end of the day, business or love might not come in the form that we expected. But that doesn't mean that it's a bad fit. If you're putting yourself out there authentically, watch who starts coming into your life. Sometimes who we are attracting can teach us a lot about ourselves that we didn't know. And it might be a better fit than we expected.

At this exact moment, there's at least one person out there looking for exactly what you are. Whether it's a client, lover, or just a friend — somebody is trying to find you.

So give them a chance. Put yourself out there. The good, the bad, and the ugly, be authentic. Don't just be another carbon copy of someone else. Show people exactly who you are, so the right fits can find you.

When you open up and put yourself out there authentically, you don't have to wait six months to find out something isn't a fit. You'll create a business you're proud of and a life you'll love right now. And that already sounds attractive, doesn't it?

4 Things Not To Say To/Ask A Woman

1. Never Tell a Girl to Calm Down

Do you realise what you've done!?!? You just said the C word. Prepare for world chaos. When a man tells a woman to 'calm down', usually its right in the middle of her expressing something that she cares about to him, and to be shut-down with a form of 'relax', will absolutely boil her blood. Whenever you say this, it usually has the opposite effect. You may as well say 'fire up and get angry please', then maybe she will 'calm down' due to how shocked she is over what you just said?

2. Don't Say Anything Bad About Her Guy Friends

There's nothing a girl hates more when you start talking smack about her guy friends, or start dissing her male friends especially when you don't know them well or haven't even met them! This is like getting a red market and writing 'INSECURE' all over your face. Girls like a man with confidence, and when you start getting jealous about her guy friends, it's best to keep your mouth shut. No guy likes it, I know, but it's something we have to put up with. Be confident, if you're not jealous, she will like you even more!

3. I'll Call You Later

We all do it, but do we realise the damage we are causing? You may think it's a good idea to end a conversation with I'll call you later, that's fine, if it's someone other than a girl! But what you have now done is destroyed her chances of calling you in between that time, because technically you have taken charge in saying I WILL CALL YOU, so if she tries to call you now, it will make her seem desperate. GOOD ONE!

4. How many guys have you slept with?

STOP. Do you REALLY want to know the answer to that question? Or will it forever haunt your dreams forever? IT WILL. It's best to not even go there. First of all, you are going to seem insecure again, especially if you ask this right at the start of your relationship, and most guys do! However, if she asks you this question first, as much as you want to ask, I WOULDN'T. Because you don't want to be the one to start this conversation, it leads to the sex questions. Then you start asking what have you done? And now you will regret asking this question!

Chasing the Truth..

We have always had an obsession with truth; with understanding things correctly. More often than not, never have we been satisfied to accept anyone's word for anything. EVERYTHING MUST BE PROVEN; and we believe this is a wise way for everyone to live. If someone says such and such is good, or this and that are bad, we always ask "Why?". We almost NEVER take things on authority. Its our understanding that many people are not honest, and some who are honest are simply mistaken. The higher you go in terms of power, the more reason people have to manipulate you for the sake of their own agendas.

Historically, whenever a significant paradigm shift has occurred, it was strongly opposed by nearly everyone on every side. And yet in the end, the grounds for the shift were proven to be valid.

"Always go to the source/sources of an issue. Dig until you reach the bottom and have ALL the information on a matter. Only then will you be in a competent position to make your own judgment. Also, expect very few to agree with you, and nearly all to mock you. But trust in yourself, or rather, trust in your openness to seek and accept the truth, whatever it turns out to be. You must vow to follow truth wherever it leads, for its own sake."

This takes courage, because truth can be painful; it can turn our world and beliefs upside down. If you truly do your own work, if you will have the courage, discipline, strength, and INTELLECTUAL HONESTY to thoroughly investigate a matter, you can feel secure in your conclusions.

This takes hard work, much time, and complete honesty, but your reward is truth and personal freedom.

Seriously, "What is Love" to you?

Maxwell was quite rich and energetic; his business was going fine and had the best of what life could offer at that time. It would be a great omission not to mention his girlfriend Rita who was always by him for conservative three years. The two go it going a year before Maxwell hit it big professionally. Rita always knew he was going to be successful and her forecasts were right. His life seemed to be going according to plan, but in reality, no life really does.

It was on a summer afternoon, just after a sweaty game with his friends and colleagues, not to forget the loud cheers from their fiancées and girlfriends. Maxwell dived into the pool just to cool off. There it happened, after a few dives, he hit his head at the bottom of the pool and all the force was transmitted to the on spot, the Cervical Vertebra – which controls the spinal cord. After some period of expecting Max to surface, his wondering friend dived to find Max motionless.

Fast-forward 7 months and some weeks, Max’s fate was sealed. He was confirmed by the best medical experts to be paralyzed feet. Well, fast-forward another two months, there has been so many frustrations, arguments and fights between Rita and Max. Irritated Rita just couldn’t come to terms with her fiancée’s new fate and it was time to call a quit. Max was wise to see it coming and wanted to make it obvious to Rita requested her to sit back and ask herself “if he had not had the accident, would she ever welcome the thought of leaving him?”

Well, the answer she could honestly give was “no”.

************

Many would argue that love is the most overrated word used this contemporary days. Many rather "like" but say they "love". He's rich, she's beautiful, he's have a very nice build, she has great curves, he's respected by all, she's smells so sweet, he has a baritone voice, she always sound like an angel... the list goes on. But here's the bummer; what if he/she looses those qualities? Would you still love him/her? Think about that before saying you are in-love.

For some people, it's good reputation. Are you ready to pay back the gratuity of the "love" you were receiving? Most people pray the relationship never gets to that stage while others hope the "pay back" required won't be too much.

Let's think a bit towards the extreme, what if you never got to enjoy the benefit of the love but you were just called up to act out your confessions of love? For how long can you bear 'stay in character' or can you hold on till the end?

Would you after a week or some months say you have expressed really love? Hmm, real love takes more than that.

What is love to you? 

Things You Have to Forget to Get Ahead 3

Your desire to win everyone's approval.

Your ideas and choices don't have to be on everyone's "approved" list.  Regardless of the opinions of others, at the end of the day the only reflection staring back at you in the mirror is your own.  Make sure you're proud of who that person is.  Approach others with the belief that you're a good person, whether they respond positively or not.  It's normal to want people to like you, but it becomes a self-imposed burden when too much of your behavior is explicitly designed to constantly reassure you of their approval.

6 Things You Shouldn't Say To Single Friends

Whether you've just started dating someone or you're in a long-term relationship, it can be tempting to set friends up or discuss their private lives. While you may be open with your friends, there are some things that you should never say. Getting too private can seem condescending and you run the risk of losing your friends for good.

 

1. Anything to Do with Online Dating

You may have found the love of your life through online dating, but that doesn't mean your friend wants to try it. Yes, there are benefits, but you want to stay away from anything that involves this topic. While you think you're helping, you're friend sees it that she's not good enough without someone else in her life. Of course, if she brings it up as a subject, feel free to chat away about it.

 

2. Name Calling

You may tell her that she's being picky or is too hard to please, but that isn't going to help her. She'll feel hurt that you think that way. This is her life, and she wants to find Mr. Right. If you actually ask her about your must-haves when it came to dating, she may have thought you weren't picky enough. The last thing you want is her upsetting you by telling you your man isn't good enough.

 

3. Asking About an Ex

You may have loved her ex-boyfriend, but there was a reason why they broke up. Sometimes the breakups aren't because your friend wanted to end the relationship. Why bring up a past relationship, unless she is the one who starts the conversation about it?

 

4. The Marriage Question

Happily married women expect everyone to be in the same situation as them. They start asking their friends when they're getting married, or why they aren't married yet. Even those with boyfriends will find these questions hurtful and annoying. The choice of marriage isn't always their fault. Their boyfriends may not have popped the question yet, or they may be going through difficult periods in their relationships.

 

5. Talking About Getting Out There

There is a common feeling that single women aren't going everything they can to meet someone. A friend may comment on them being in the home all the time, or constantly at work. The problem is that you don't see your friend all the time. You don't know how actively she is looking for someone, or whether she even wants to find a man to add to her life. If you're trying to get her to meet a friend you have, encourage her to come to a party by telling her that there's someone you'd like her to meet.

 

6. Mentioning Age

This is a big no-no. You don't want to mention age, even if you mean it as a compliment. Saying "you're still young", is like saying, "you're getting on a bit and time is running out"; you may not mean it that way, but it's how it comes across. The best thing you can do is stay away from the age factor completely, unless she asks for your opinion; and then, tread carefully.  -The Trent

Where you feel it

20 Reasons People Have Sex

Stressed out? Have sex. Stress reduction is one of the leading reasons, particularly men, say they have sex. The other most frequently cited reasons for having sex include:

• Boosting mood and relieving depression
• Duty
• Enhancement of power
• Enhancement of self-concept
• Experiencing the power of one's partner
• Feeling loved by your partner
• Fostering jealousy
• Improving reputation or social status
• Making money
• Making babies
• Need for affection
• Nurturance
• Partner novelty
• Peer pressure or pressure from partner
• Pleasure
• Reducing sex drive
• Revenge
• Sexual curiosity
• Showing love to your partner
• Spiritual transcendence

Understanding why people seek sex is not always a simple task. Young men and women typically haven't been in very committed relationships and are in the process of discovering their sexuality. Their answers to "why do you have sex" are often greatly tied to the image of themselves and their social relationships. This can change over time.

Many teens are increasingly engaging in sexual activities and this has to be discouraged. Some people erroneously believe giving a free pass to "teenage sex" reduces some crimes and makes it consensual. However, the disadvantages far out weighs the advantages both in the nearest and distant future.   
 

But such knowledge can improve a couple's sex life. Understanding these differences in motivations is very important. It helps us understand what's going on in the sexual relationship and treat sexual disorders. Very often, you find the source of the problem can be traced to the particular motivation.

If you need help dealing with a sex disorder or addiction, you can find a qualified sex therapist in your area through medical organizations.

Stand out from the crowd

 

You've got to learn to take your stand even when you seem alone. Stand out of the crowd especially when their ideas, lifestyle and decisions do not match yours. Do not compromise at all.

Stand out in the rain,

Stand out in the sunshine,

Stand out  through the pain,

Stand out when it seems its all crashing down.

Then after the trials, you'll feel the joy and see the beauty of standing out.

Life is Hard, but..

Indeed life seems truly hard; because right options and decisions have turn out to be difficult to select and live by. 

However, a right options would always remain 'RIGHT' because they bring the desired end result. Whether to choose the 'Right Option' or not is an option in almost everything we do starting from our waking up to start a day till when we decide to end the day at night.

Out of a thousand and one right and wrong decisions to make in a day, just one wrong decision to a crucial incident has the ability of ruining a considerable portion of a person's life. 

How decisions affect other people's life is another subject worthy of deep consideration. 

Life is hard...

But not impossible!

Make the right decisions and you'll reap the reward someday soon.  

10 Simple Ways To Impress A Woman

Sometimes it’s the smallest thing that makes a lasting impression with women. A smart comment or a couple of small gestures can really impress a woman, while an offensive remark or a display of carelessness can utterly doom your chances. This list of habits and behaviors could make the difference between getting her number and getting a dirty look.

1. Be a gentleman

We should all strive to be gentlemen at all times; however, many men today shy away from it, attempting to respect a woman’s space and equality. Believe it or not, there are still plenty of women who still appreciate chivalry and being treated like a lady, and being a gentleman when you are in the presence of a lady shows her that you are attentive, respectful and well-mannered.

2. Maintain eye contact

It can be tempting to look a beautiful woman up and down, and the more beautiful she is, the harder it is to concentrate on the conversation with her. Just remember, if she catches you staring at her cleavage when she’s telling you how much her dad means to her, you’ll look like a creep.

3. Giving sincere compliments

Complimenting women is a skill all men need to master to be successful with the ladies. Women can sense when a compliment is not sincere, and this same insincerity along with some guys having hidden agendas are the reasons why they find compliments so repulsive. To give a compliment the right way, the most important thing to be sincere and remember that is not what you say, but how you say it–what you can observe about her and the setting she is in. Compliment woman more on her character rather than her appearance and don’t try to find something for the sake of being complimentary; that feels false.

4. Socialize with her friends

And one of the things that allows a woman to measure a guy’s potential as a partner is his ability to fit into her social network. Women are attracted to likable, social, charming men, the kind of guys their friends and families will love. So, engage in conversation with her friends even as you’re working your magic on her. Impress them and you’ll impress her and remember–the more you make a woman feel special, the more positive her conversations about you will be with her girlfriends.

5. Ignore your cell phone

Guys, regularly answering cell phone calls (especially from other women) while you are out together with your lady is a big no-no. When you’re talking to a woman, letting her see you silence your phone or turn it off completely shows her that she has your undivided attention. Your outside communications during a date should be limited only to emergencies.

6. Ask open-ended questions

Just about every woman likes to talk about herself; after all, it’s a subject on which she has a lot of expertise. Open-ended questions are essential for making the conversation flow. Asking her questions about her family and her favorite things will allow her to open up and feel comfortable, while simultaneously showing her that you’re interested in more than just her looks.

7. Be funny

Women love a guy that will make them laugh spontaneously and keep a smile on their faces, and being funny and being able to make a woman laugh is something that will get you farther with her than just being good looking. After all, when looks fade and you begin aging, all you’ll have left is conversation.

8. Always leave her wanting more

The majority of guys give away all the surprises and all the interesting facts about themselves way too soon. You have to leave women wanting more, and by doing things like limiting your phone conversations, leaving just as the conversation or kissing is getting good, and saying you’ve gotta go meet with your friends. By being a challenge, an interested woman will begin making calls and suggestions to see you again and will make her intentions more obvious as time goes by.

9. Show her you are passionate about life

A man who can show a woman he’s passionate about things in life, from his job to the bedroom, is very attractive.

10. Take personal responsibility

Take personal responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and your situation. Learn to see how the choices you’ve made have led you to where you are and never be a victim.

Mistakes: Ride of Life

Mistakes are simply lessons in disguise as flaws! 

I put them on my "been there; done that" list. Then as I make more, the more I have overcome.

We do not always try, sometimes they just happen. You've got to climb on top and ride them; like waves, you know. See what you learned on the 'ride and crash', and then start again. 

Life is just amazing! You can not control everything external - you ride with it and then take another ride later, with more knowledge. 

Maybe you will ride longer and maybe not crash

One day, the wave may be free to be an ocean of serenity.

What is LOVE?

This is a question that makes the best of literates search for words. Quite frankly, it’s simply had to define emotions to the precise extent that you would feel the receiver has the perfect picture you’re trying to paint. Love, on a unique platform is; expressed in various ways, felt during several occurrences, strengthen by a wide range of circumstances, and survives unbelievable test of life.

After been confused by the feeling that ‘no word is appropriate’, many finally resort to the conclusion that love is best felt, expressed and observed than described. Attitudes, emotional sensations, dispositions, reactions, among others have been known to define and describe love. According to the Greeks, there are four types of love – kinships, friendship, sexual and divine love; these seven attributes describes genuine case of love in all four. 

Love is:

1. Kind and Merciful: In times of need and when mistakes are been made, real love comes to play and makes it all go away. Kindness and mercifulness are humane attributes; however, love pushes the boundary much further.

2. Sincere and honest: Genuine love promotes constant sincerity and honesty among people. Love makes it hurt you to act otherwise, because dishonesty immediately ad constantly becomes a very heavy burden on you.  

3. Courteous and Respectful: Actions during interpersonal relations expresses love if it is present. However we choose to react to each other, treat each other’s wishes and speak to one another expresses the love we possess to each other.  

4. Fearless and Strong: Love kills fear and increases strength. Period! It is a fact that has been established over time. When others fear for their lives and can’t associate with someone, the person he/she loves tames that perfectly. Hatred brings weakness.

5. Truthful and faithful: Love has no space for lies and cheats. The devastating effect of acting opposite truthful and faithful surely hurts love.

6. Corrective and Protective: Unpretentious love would dislike causing or spreading danger while preventing mistakes from repeating themselves.  

7. Active with Faith: Love exists on the leap of faith. Real love is never stagnant or impotent; it is always showing and proving itself.

 

You are to express all these acts of love to yourself and others in your daily life. 

Bottom line: One question, have you really been showing and receiving true love?

Your Life Is Simply a Gift! Why??

Many people are in so much unfortunate state than you are...and you need to put that in mind before you say, act or think in an ungrateful way.

 

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who died too young.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

 

Remember whatever you have can leave you...Your Life Is Simply a Gift

Controlling Your Head.

I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your head when you don't even understand yourself.
Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you because they can’t handle everything that’s right about you. You could unfortunately be in a relationship with someone who is nonchalant about controlling his/her mood and that literally 'drives you crazy'.

Therefore, never allow a person to get into your head and manipulate you. Your mood should never be influenced by anyone's actions. There are people who take great delight in annoying and irritating others. Some others just say or do things that would make you wonder if they have anything called brains in their heads! However they relate or interact with you, always remember NO ONE CAN drive you crazy UNLESS you give them the keys.
Bottom Line: Silence is still the best answer for Fools.

Beware of "Greek gifts"

The term, ‘Greek gift’, is used to describe a gesture that comes with strings attached. It is the strategy of giving someone a gift with the intent to entrap him or to influence his subsequent action or to trick him into a compromising situation. For some people, it could actually result in death. 

There are some gifts with the intents of making you 'owe' the person, then you'll feel bad not bulging to wrong deals. People have been noted to give sex to people just so they can pass communicable diseases or blackmail the individual later on. At workspaces, social hangouts, and neighbourhood, these deceptive people sharing "evil gifts" are all around you.
 

Always wisely examine every proposal brought to you, including those by seemingly well-meaning people. Do not be in a hurry to accept suggestions to do something or enter into very attractive deals that appear too easy and demands little or nothing from you. Nothing of value and enduring comes cheap. Always look out for a hidden trap or trick that could throw you into a public scandal and shame, or eventually cost you dearly. When you come to a crossroads in life; take a knee, think and ask for help to handle all such tricky and tempting situations. 

Bottom line: All that glitters is not gold

"Arguments" in Relationships

Why do people argue at all? Guess it's to express personal opinion(s) and position. Millions of arguments on the surface of the earth are not necessary. Yes, we are all free moral agents ridden with individual points of view; however, resorting to arguments has become a second nature for people. 

If humans are that prone to arguments, how much more two people in a relationship. It is expected that couples would sometimes argue and be at logger heads.

 

However, there are some little things that you can and should let go even though you might be right. Most times, preventing a clumsy argument is smarter than winning it. Just like the proverb says "Wiser is the man that prevented a war than he that prepared for it." A country cannot simultaneously prepare and prevent war. Its impossible to bring peace when you have your mind ready for war. So is it with you relationship. 

Always try to take note of the feeling of peace inner your mind when all is at rest. That would help you identify what you are gunning for you are at the cross road of choosing between peace and argument.

 

An unjust peace is always better than a just war. And if you must go to "war" in your relationship, endeavour as best as you can to reduce the "fatality"!!

When JEALOUSY turns EVIL

When the spirit of envy and jealousy engulfs a man, it brings along with it deep-seated bitterness, prejudice and hatred that could sometimes lead to rage or murderous intentions and actions. The individual gets so hypnotized that he/she loses all sense of reasoning and judgment.

Many have killed fellow human just because of evil desires of power, self-will, envy and jealousy. These traits can be found in both young and old. Futhermore, it increases when the person continues drolling on the envious ideas.

It’s often said that relationships must have some ‘sprinkles’ of jealousy. However, there must be a limit to it. Over-possessiveness plus jealousy in a relationship could be literally very deadly and definitely lead to lifelong regret. Everyone must guard against this.

Whether in the office, home or neigbourhood, we must steadfastly shun every devilish attempt to frustrate others so that we can create a space for ourselves. Envy and jealousy are twin cancerous evils we must avoid like a plague in our lives and relationships.