“No one is perfect”. That is the
popular word on the block when relationships run into bumps. If perfection is
however seen as “faultless perfection”, then who is perfect?
It’s an open secret that we all
have faults and downsides, and every human being is unique with special
properties and shortcomings. It is essential to recognise some shortcomings a
mile away in relationships before actually running into them.
Take a step back and look at yourself;
can you bear yourself if you were in a relationship with an exact you? Many say
yes but the truth is no. For people with extremely good characters, having
another “them” would be too perfect and obnoxious while people that have various
bad habits would be too deficient and volatile to live with another “them”.
Focusing on bad attitudes
Some bad attitudes are annoying
while others are very dangerous. Many people are lucky to discover some bad
attitudes in their spouse before too long but give no heed to the warning
thinking attitudes can be managed. Sadly they can’t! Behaviours can be managed
but not attitudes.
Sofia speaks “...Sean and I were in the eight month of our relationship when I picked
his phone to ring mine so it’ll ring out loud because I couldn’t remember where
I placed it. As I picked his phone and was scrolling to select my name on his
contact, he saw me and thought I was spying on him. There he said, with his
most fearful face I had ever seen, ‘next time you pick my phone; I’ll break your
hand’. I couldn’t imagine living with someone having that much anger that erupted
within seconds and giving no opportunity for explanations.”
Lola speaks “…He complains too much…even for a lady!!”
Alex speaks “…she inflates every pain, discomfort and worry. When she had a little
cut, I never heard the end of it till it was completely healed and she used it
as an excuse not to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
Grace speaks “…his car was scratched by another road user,
nothing major but he wouldn’t let go. He was ready to fight a grown lady with
little kids at the backseat of her car. When we left the scene, he also
mentioned how displeased he was that I didn’t join his campaign against the
defenceless woman.”
Desmond speaks “...she nagged so much for almost anything
that goes outside her way or plan for hours. At the sixth month of our
relationship, I couldn’t stand the imagination of the living hell of living
with her for a lifetime. Just had to call acquits”
Bad attitudes are like flat tires. You can't go anywhere
without changing them.
More often than not, approaching many
people with the information “you have a bad attitude” in cases of ‘annoying
attitude’ typically triggers a defensive response while people with ‘dangerous
attitude’ might get angry or even harm the accuser.
Many people have the extreme nagging
attitude, drama queen – self-pity, self-doubt, poor self-image, bullying and anger.
All these attitudes individually sound bad not to mention bagging them at
whatever quantity and bringing them into relationships.
Family, friends, negative environments, an unfulfilled life and discontented
state can result to developing bad attitudes. None the less, a person who has discipline,
heart, guts, strength, wisdom and determination can triumph above all.
No one can change you or
change for you. You will have to do it for you.
In order to correct negative attitudes, understand your bad attitudes and
what triggers them, change your mental state not only by positive thinking but
positive words also, look for positive aspects of situations instead of
dwelling on the negative.
Be
at war with your vices; at peace with your virtues, and let every new day find
you a better man.
