NEVER, EVER PLAY MIND GAMES.

Jealousy may often bring out the worst side of people in a relationship. One of the worst things you can do is play mind games to make your lover come running back to you at a moment’s notice. This may seem like a quick fix, but it will put a strain on your relationship. How? It can break your lover’s trust in you, and due to the quick results, you may repeat this trick to get their attention again and again whenever you feel like your partner’s paying too much attention to another person.

LEARN TO GRADUALLY TRUST YOUR PARTNER.

 One of the hardest but most important things you can do is try to stop overanalyzing every single thing your partner does and just learn to trust them one step at a time. Lengthen the leash and allow your partner to enjoy their own life even when you’re not around to watch over them. Keeping a "hawk watch" makes your partner insecure and uncomfortable.

Hard Relationships can Survive

Relationships are not always rosy. You may have some bitter moons. There are several situations in relationship that you can’t even describe in writing. Relationships can be confusing at times.

Lots of relationships collapse during the harsh seasons of building a family. But most relationships that are meant to be and diligently guarded last. Not everyone gives up. Not every relationship splits. They are strong. I believe yours is (can be) too! Strong Relationships have ingredients.

Consistent Communication, Patience, Faithfulness, Selflessness, Cooperation, Forgiveness, Respect, Understanding and consideration, Gratefulness, Contentment, Positive thinking and anticipation for a coexisting future.

These among others make up a promising relationship. Now that you them, go have a take at happy relationship.

DON'T be SUSPICIOUS

Suspicion creates a form of doubt and negative image of the person that is suspected. It breeds worry and fear even if it lack an element of truth. When you become suspicious, it will affect the trust level of your relationship. Suspicions suck out the life and fun in a relationship. Many people have been wrongly blamed just because a previous suspicious act was not properly discussed. Don't create an avenue to be suspected rather discuss any issues that can lead to suspicion. Be open in discussion and avoid secrecy. It's that simple.

DO NOT dwell on RESIDUAL knowledge

A lot of us usually believe we have what it takes to handle our relationship in terms of knowledge and wisdom. But we often dwell on our residual knowledge and this will not help us. For us to experience bliss in our relationship, we have carefully outline this mistake in order to avoid it. We need more experiences and ideas from people who have practical and proven knowledge about relationships. Read books, attend seminars and listen to educative programs. This will equip you with the knowledge to handle your relationship.

 

Ask questions ...yes. But from reliable people and endeavor to provide the full context so your advisor would fully comprehend the situation.  

 

NEVER live a FALSE life

Many people live less than their true self by trying to be the perfect picture in other's frame just to please them. This will make them function less than their original self and regret it on the long run. A question to pounder on is "till when do you plan to keep up the lie"? Some lie about their finances, abilities and/or personality. This charade is purely dangerous and leads to a disastrous end emotionally and psychologically.  

Try to be yourself and live your best. It is better that you are accepted the way you are than to be accepted for who you are not. Don't make the mistake of living a false life, it shows you lack originality and stability.

Money in relationships

It is no secret that money has been the doom of many relationships. As the holy Bible says, “For the love of money is the root of all evil...” and another portion says “money answereth all things”.
Contradicting?? I doubt. Whether married or in a long-term relationship, improper handling or spending of money in a relationship has been the source of many arguments and conflicts of various gravity and inadequacy has robbed many relationship of fun and adventure in some cases or infliction of more problems in others.

Love is greater than money – at least that’s the way it should be. The mechanics of a healthy relationship should of course be love and passion, honesty and acceptance, communication and openness, friendship and attraction, compatibility and selflessness, faithfulness and respect, trust and the other good qualities you’re most likely listing in your mind as you read this. If we are both right, how come money had and has an extensive grip on most relationships?

The power and influence of money really transcends human’s primary conscious psychology. I mean we make many if not most actions with knowing it’s the money commanding and most times, the way we talk; our choice of words and manner of speaking is influenced.

Money doesn’t have to be the relationship wrecker if only we could

·         Freely talk about money

·         Handle money

·         Have right attitude towards money

·         And use money properly like it should be instead of it manipulating us.

For many, money creates fear, dishonesty and some other misbehavior because of how volatile it is.

Simple things can cause the biggest problems. Like?

1. Living above your earning isn’t a wise way to exist. It is necessary to be honest with yourself and then your partner/finance instead of been unrealistic...faking lifestyles. Never hide your debt because they might surface in the future of your relationship and look much uglier that when you made them.

2. Never attempt to get love with money. It cannot be overstated that money is volatile. If ever you make money the basis of your relationship, what would you do when it "goes"? Are you thinking now?

Yes money is important and can be used to express love. Ensure whoever wants you loves you for "YOU" and not basically because of your money.

Talking about money should be carefully approached and respectfully concluded.

Usually in a relationship, there is "plenty saver" and the "heavy spender". It isn’t wrong. However, when your partner overspends beyond your comfort level, it most definitely would scare you that you are gradually been dragged to a “breaking point”. This is when a sit down and re-evaluation is important.

AVOID playing the BLAME GAME

Blame does no good to a relationship or one's partner other than frustrate life out of them.

When you blame your partner, it shows that you are shelving your responsibility off you. More often than not, "passing the blame" game often lead to the development of a negative skill called nagging. Do not mistake "blaming" for "heated discussion" or "pouring out your heart as it is"...no!  Also, have it at the back of your mind that blames destroy relationships in bits. After the damage is done, you'll find it hard to believe the "blame game" did that much.

Be courageous and bold enough to be responsible for your actions. Also, rather than blame, mutually discuss any issues that can affect your partner or the relationship.

AVOID CHEATING on your partner

Are you considering unfaithfulness towards your partner? The answer is DON'T! Don't think about it, don't plan it...if possible, don't even joke about it. Cheating is commonly referred to as the act of betrayal or unfaithfulness towards your partner. Usually when you devote the emotional and physical intimacy meant for the person you are dating to another person, then its considered cheating. If any of the partners in a relationship were sincerely devoted to the relationship, none would allow the concept of cheating. Not for any reason.
Cheating destroys you psychologically without you knowing it. It makes you feel you can get away with it playing "emotional smartness" and have "options" but on the long run, you become addicted to it and hardly would be able to save yourself.
Just don’t think about cheating if you really want something from that relationship.

NEVER make a PROMISE you cannot fulfill

Don't promise what you can't bring to eventuality. Only say what is within your limit. As people seek to be loved or accepted in a relationship, they often tend to magnify their capacities. This is utterly wrong. You do not need to make false promises to people for the sakes of having their approval. This will only make your partner see you as a dishonest person and or feel unworthy with you.

In a bid to be accepted, do what you can do and promise what you can fulfil. Be it little, its better and you would be seen as a man/lady of your words in all aspects of the relationship.

Never expect EVERYTHING from your relationship

Failure to meet your expectations could bring about disappointments. A lot of people usually expect their partner to satisfy all their needs. For instance, your partner cannot give you joy no matter how caring or affectionate they might be. If your joy is not from the inside, no one else can make you joyful. Don't make your expectations "too" high. They are human and cannot meet all. But when you have fairly normal expectations, you won't have much of heartache or emotional trauma.

Remember, moral standard and high expectations are two very different things. You should compromise your moral standards because of a relationship. Tons of people that have done that regretted it on the long run. 

Communicate your FEELINGS.

Don't assume your partner would know how you feel. Many people think their partner should know how they feel, what they are thinking of and their mood. However, this usually does not work as we think. Unless you're dating a mind reader, you really should not make that assumption. You need to find the right avenue to discuss how you feel. Assumptions do not solve issues it... only compound problems.

Don't do it alone, INVOLVE GOD

If you really want that relationship to last longest, you need to go spiritual on it. It is believed that a threefold cord is not easily broken. Who you share intimacy with in your relationship determines the strength of your relationship. Most of us involve friends, parent or colleagues in our relationship but their contribution usually affects us negatively. When you involve God in the affairs of your relationship, He will give you the strength and wisdom to handle any issues. Don't believe you can do it successfully without God.

 

Trust - Relationship Problem and Solutions That Can Save Your Relationship

Trust is a key part of a relationship. Do you see certain things that cause you not to trust your partner? Or do you have unresolved issues that prevent you from trusting others?

Problem-solving strategies

• First, be realistic. Thinking your mate will meet all your needs -- and will be able to figure them out without your asking -- is a Hollywood fantasy. "Ask for what you need directly”.

• Next, use humour -- learn to let things go and enjoy one another more.

• You and your partner can develop trust in each other by following these tips.

• Be consistent.

• Be on time.

• Do what you say you will do.

• Don't lie -- not even little white lies to your partner or to others.

• Be fair, even in an argument.

• Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your partner is feeling.

• Call when you say you will.

• Call to say you'll be home late.

• Carry your fair share of the workload.

• Don't overreact when things go wrong.

• Never say things you can't take back.

• Don't dig up old wounds.

• Respect your partner's boundaries.

• Don’t be jealous.

• Be a good listener.

• Even though there are always going to be problems in a relationship, you both can do things to minimize marriage problems, if not avoid them altogether.

Finally, be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. Don't think that things would be better with someone else. Unless you address problems, the same lack of skills that get in the way now will still be there and still cause problems no matter what relationship you're in.

6 Virtues In A Good Woman

The basic need a man really wants to correctly satisfy is the want of a good woman by his side. Men have just as hard time trying to find a good woman as women have trying to find a good man.

Women have to kiss frogs in order to find a Prince and men have to wade through pools of women, who for the sake of the cleanliness of this article we will just say crazy women, worthless woman, b's, h's, gold diggers, and you fill in the blanks.

A good woman is comprised of much more than being a woman who keeps a clean house and puts a hot meal on the table.. Things like that are nice and pretty much a necessity depending on the relationship, but they are only the basics. Many women say they want a good man but have you asked yourself if you're a good woman? Here are a few traits of a good woman.

1. ENCOURAGING/SUPPORTIVE/MOTIVATES - A good woman isn't quiet without input. She's full of ideas to help improve your life, career, business, outlook in dressing and overall health. She supports her man's ideas and motivates him to accomplish his goals. A good woman is a good listener. Ultimately she is able to change you without trying. A good woman makes you a better man.

2. SHE KEEPS HIM HONEST - A man is not allowed to be lazy when he's in a relationship with a good woman. If you tend to make excuses for why you can't do something a good woman will call you out on your bedside and make you shape up. If you want a promotion, but claim to not be able to get one she will quickly let you know that in all honestly you're not doing enough. A good woman will always encourage her man to make an honest living that he can be proud of. Most importantly she knows how to talk to him and tell him these things without being down on him.

3. KING HIM - Feeding your man grapes, strawberries and parading around in little enticing outfits is delightful, but what about providing him with some mental stimulation. A good woman not only speaks to the King in her man, but she also treats him as such. She sees potential in him. She treats you like he is the most capable and deserving man in the world, in addition to spoiling and catering to him in the most feminine way. A good woman will often make a man feel like he's the only man who exists in her eyes.

A good woman sees greatness in her King. She thinks he's amazing and makes him feel as such. She will have him feeling like anything is possible, like he could actually change the world. Imagine that... or simply google Barack Obama

4. SHE'S SECURE - A good woman is secure within herself and not easily jealous over other women. She's not quick to put the next woman down just because she thinks the woman looks good and provides competition to her own looks. No man wants an insecure woman who is always messing up his business deals because she thinks he's flirting with or having intimate relations with the women he works with.

5. STABILITY - Women often look for stability in a man. What they don't know is that it's their characteristics as a woman that cause a man to become stable. Most relationships are temporary, you actually know they will expire any minute. She makes him think about a future with her. A good woman will make you think of your goals and plans and make sure they are in alignment with what you want out of life. If a woman wants a stable man then she needs to be stable herself. That's one of the top signs of a good woman

6. ALLERGIC TO GOLD DIGGING - A good woman doesn't require that you buy her expensive gifts in order to obtain or maintain her affection. She's just as happy with sentimental gifts from a man as she would be with a gift of Louboutin shoes. It's not all about money with her, it's all about you and the man whom you are.

There is power in a good woman who can push her man to new heights and when a man finds a good woman that's when those should wedding bells start ringing..

Sex - Relationship Problem and Solutions That Can Save Your Relationship

Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. A lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up. Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple healthy.

 

Problem-solving strategies:

• Plan, plan, plan! Making an appointment; but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired. Maybe during the baby's Saturday afternoon nap or a "before-work quickie." Ask friends or family to take the kids every other Friday night for a sleepover. When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation. Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun, too. Why not have sex in the kitchen? Or by the fire? Or standing up in the hallway?

• Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal “Sexy List”. Swap the lists and use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.

• If your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved on your own, Consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your issues.





Stand Out From The Crowd

Many people claim “this is my style”, “that’s just my choice”, “I’m not like anyone, it’s just my fashion”; but the truth is when they step out into the crowd, they just fade into the crowd. Why? Simply because there’s no distinction between them and the society. In other words, the society has found a cunny way of dictating the lifestyle of people, leaving them with the choice of toning it up or down.

In relationships, many people join the crowd just so they can join the discussion when friends are talking about their partners; they don’t want to be the odd one out. This has landed many people in grave trouble emotionally, academically, morally, and even financially.

Others date partners whose character they don’t condone; they choose partners based on the "societal credibility". Dating someone because you feel the people around you would respect, or accept you more just because you are dating a particular caliber of person is not just wrong but also considered sick. Further expecting such relationship to be long or constructive to their lives is pure fallacy. (This is why most celebrities are either breaking up now or divorcing later)

 

You need to be original in as many areas of your live as possible...especially your relationships! Who you choose to date; why you choose to date the person; why that time; what do you expect from that person and why you expect such from the person; what you hope to gain; among other questions.

Standing out for a belief or way of life has never been easy but always has its advantages at the end. You need to pay the distressful price just so you can have the treasured commodity. That’s the simple truth. Then at the right time, you would smile for been as patient and courageous as you chose to be.  

Home Chores - Relationship Problem and Solutions That Can Save Your Relationship

Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love lives going. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

To the issue at hand, most partners work outside the home and often at more than one job. So it's important to fairly divide the labour at home.

 Problem-solving strategies

• Be organized and clear about your respective jobs in the home. Write all the jobs down and agree on who does what. Be fair so no resentment builds.

• Be open to other solutions, she says. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.

Holding on to Relationships The Wrong Way

Relationships, the genuine ones, are usually funny, cool and nice at the beginning. They seem like they just the only thing you ever wanted in life. But many relationships are better if they never existed due to the pain, destruction of self-esteem, sadness and other negatives they bring at the end.

It would have been right to say bad relationships don't necessarily mean 'pointless interaction' because we learn something from them (at least we say experience is the best teacher); but the truth is very few people on the surface of the earth take the time to ask themselves "what have I learnt from this wrong relationship?". Most humans living now simply don't learn.

Now to the issues at hand. When you realize a relationship isn't meant t be (for the right reasons), the best thing to do is to let go....else you'll get hurt...badly!!
But before that, there is the issue of holding on to your relationship the wrong way...like the guy in this picture is holding his dog.

When your partner gets just a little distraction from anywhere, you'll be left alone, broken and in pain.

Then you start the "passing the blame game" which really is dumb, because it only shows you learnt nothing from the whole experience. Acts of love, kindness, patience, sacrifice, appreciation with a mix of sound communication, humility and respect are necessary to "hold your relationship down".

The question is "How are you holding/keeping your relationship"?

Maybe the right first question to ask you is "why are you in that relationship?"

Then "Is it going on like it should?"

Now "What are the things that you would say are wrong?"

Finally, "How would you and your partner describe the way you both keep the relationship going?"

Money - Relationship Problem and Solutions That Can Save Your Relationship

Money problems can start even before the wedding vows are exchanged. They can stem, for example, from the expenses of courtship or from the high cost of a wedding. It is recommended that couples who have money woes take a deep breath and have a serious conversation about finances.



Problem-solving strategies

• Be honest about your current financial situation. If things have gone south, continuing the same lifestyle is unrealistic.

• Don't approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.

• Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender, understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each other's tendencies.

• Don't hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and investments to the table.

• Don't blame.

• Construct a joint budget that includes savings.

• Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.

• Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be spent at his or her discretion.

• Decide upon short-term and long-term goals. It's OK to have individual goals, but you should have family goals, too.

• Talk about caring for your parents as they age and how to appropriately plan for their financial needs if needed.

• You can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other partner can do the laundry and the yard. You can be creative and take preferences into account -- as long as it feels fair to both of you.