BAD ATTITUDES in relationships

“No one is perfect”. That is the popular word on the block when relationships run into bumps. If perfection is however seen as “faultless perfection”, then who is perfect?  

It’s an open secret that we all have faults and downsides, and every human being is unique with special properties and shortcomings. It is essential to recognise some shortcomings a mile away in relationships before actually running into them.

Take a step back and look at yourself; can you bear yourself if you were in a relationship with an exact you? Many say yes but the truth is no. For people with extremely good characters, having another “them” would be too perfect and obnoxious while people that have various bad habits would be too deficient and volatile to live with another “them”.

 

Focusing on bad attitudes

Some bad attitudes are annoying while others are very dangerous. Many people are lucky to discover some bad attitudes in their spouse before too long but give no heed to the warning thinking attitudes can be managed. Sadly they can’t! Behaviours can be managed but not attitudes.

Sofia speaks “...Sean and I were in the eight month of our relationship when I picked his phone to ring mine so it’ll ring out loud because I couldn’t remember where I placed it. As I picked his phone and was scrolling to select my name on his contact, he saw me and thought I was spying on him. There he said, with his most fearful face I had ever seen, ‘next time you pick my phone; I’ll break your hand’. I couldn’t imagine living with someone having that much anger that erupted within seconds and giving no opportunity for explanations.”

Lola speaks “…He complains too much…even for a lady!!”

 

Alex speaks “…she inflates every pain, discomfort and worry. When she had a little cut, I never heard the end of it till it was completely healed and she used it as an excuse not to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

Grace speaks “…his car was scratched by another road user, nothing major but he wouldn’t let go. He was ready to fight a grown lady with little kids at the backseat of her car. When we left the scene, he also mentioned how displeased he was that I didn’t join his campaign against the defenceless woman.”

Desmond speaks “...she nagged so much for almost anything that goes outside her way or plan for hours. At the sixth month of our relationship, I couldn’t stand the imagination of the living hell of living with her for a lifetime. Just had to call acquits”

Bad attitudes are like flat tires. You can't go anywhere without changing them.

More often than not, approaching many people with the information “you have a bad attitude” in cases of ‘annoying attitude’ typically triggers a defensive response while people with ‘dangerous attitude’ might get angry or even harm the accuser.

Many people have the extreme nagging attitude, drama queen – self-pity, self-doubt, poor self-image, bullying and anger. All these attitudes individually sound bad not to mention bagging them at whatever quantity and bringing them into relationships.

Family, friends, negative environments, an unfulfilled life and discontented state can result to developing bad attitudes. None the less, a person who has discipline, heart, guts, strength, wisdom and determination can triumph above all.

No one can change you or change for you. You will have to do it for you.

In order to correct negative attitudes, understand your bad attitudes and what triggers them, change your mental state not only by positive thinking but positive words also, look for positive aspects of situations instead of dwelling on the negative.

Be at war with your vices; at peace with your virtues, and let every new day find you a better man.