Getting the relationship started from “wow,
he’s/she’s cute” to “that’s my man/lady” could be very confusing basically
because there is no singular technique for making a lady or man you love and
crave to be the person you’ll make your partner. Victor and Nicky recount their
first encounter.
It was a weekend and Victor had to make run to
the mall for “an emergency grocery shopping”. He gave more attention to the stocks
on the shelves than the people walking around the shopping mall. After a couple
of turns up and down various aisles, he got to the flakes. Just as he quietly
exhaled after grabbing his delightful ‘fruit and fibre flakes’ from the top
shelf, he heard a feminine voice say “ouch”.
Oops, he had just hit a lady’s buttocks
with his shopping cart. With a humiliating look over his face, he quickly said
“I am so very sorry” thinking that should settle it before he gets an angry
lady embarrassing him publicly. At least not until she turned around to respond
“it’s alright” did Victor wish he had taken another course of action.
Just as he saw her face, an “oh my God!
She’s cute” alarm went off in his head. A couple of minutes later after been timid
and not knowing the best way to trigger a conversation, he wish he had used
Eric his colleague’s stupid stunt of blaming the lady for the blunder so there
could be a mini argument and later an anticipated makeup – that once worked for
him, though it didn’t lead to a lasting association. As they both shopped,
Victor kept an eye on Nicky which she apparently noticed but acted like she cared
less.
After much tailing and noticing each
other’s shopping cart, Nicky headed to the cashier queue and Victor definitely
followed. While on the queue, a call came in on Victor’s phone. It was Eric
calling for a medical consult about a patient of his from the hospital where they both
worked. A minute after the call, the thought of bumping Nicky again with his
cart flooded Victor’s head. With a smirk on his face he told himself, “You
should say thank you if she slaps you after that”. Nicky coincidentally turned and
saw Victor’s face still with the smirk and wondered what his brain was up
to.
At that juncture Victor decided to act like
one of the cool dudes in the movies and talk to her. So he moved a bit forward
from behind his cart and touched her elbow to distract her from the LED screen
she was looking at. “Sorry about bumping into you back there” he said. Nicky
looked straight into his eyes for about three seconds and replied “you said
that before”. She slowly scrutinized his appearance from head to waist before
turning around. Dumb founded Victor could not say anything but “yea”, quietly
moving back behind his cart and resumed starring at the back of her head.
With his groceries bagged, Victor walked
fast and hopped at some point to catch up with Nicky as she exits the mall. He
got a couple of feet close at the parking lot and before he could say a
word to get her attention, she turns around and said “what now? Are you following me home to massage my
butt?”
Victor was more embarrassed than seeing the
humor in the sentence. With his hands and feet having a sudden cold sensation,
he stuttered to say “I just wanna get to know you, if u don’t mind." he added "I’m Victor” after a pause.
Following a piercing look she asked him, “Why would you want to know me Victor?”
Only then could Victor summoned the nerve to add some humor to his words by replying “you
bought diet coke.”
Though not so hilarious, it got Nicky to smile while she retorted
that it was for her mother as she turned to make it for the bus. He sharply
walked up to her side, and said “I just really want to know you. If I’m not
worth your time and interest after a chance, you just say so and you won’t see
me again.” Then she paused, smiled to his face and said “ok, I’m Nicky and I’m
in a hurry. Maybe when we might meet again some other time.” Brilliant Victor was
almost saying “ok, see you around” but the words “can I give you a call to make that happen?”
came out instead. And with a smirk on her face, she collected his phone and punched
them in.
To start with, Nicky and Victor have both
been excellent in their expression of interest. Modesty is an important component
in the construction of the foundation of a good relationship. Believe it or
not, the moment Nicky noticed Victor checking her out at the mall; the
relationship had already begun – at least unofficially. How long or short
depended on the effort and method of approach Victor applied and the quality of
response and interest Nicky gave. I just had to state this because many people, especially
ladies stretch the interest of their prospective partner to ‘breaking point’
and loose a very great person. Under the
illusion “the more and harder he comes after me before he gets me, the more he’ll try to
keep/respect/appraise me. That is just wrong; cheaters, abusers and “play boys”
chase even harder than the most honest and deserving partners.
To the issue of the day; and that is
turning the spark (honest interest) of Nicky and Victor to a massive flame
(potential relationship). Moderate and Gradually increasing expression of love,
commitment, trust, support, attraction, acceptance and passion would most
likely be met with reciprocal reaction. Too much “above moderate interactions” would
scare, suffocate and kill your flame while too little could deplete lack of interest.
Increasing communication exist in levels
and increases with time. The degree of heart to heart communication defines the
rate at with the trust, commitment and other relationship parameters grow. The
delicacy of the matters discussed also increases proportionally with the rate
of communication. However, there are some things about the future that should
be left unsaid until it is actually time to talk about them. A good extent of
the communication is better done face to face. Ten to twenty percent of the
communication is better done when meeting face to face at the beginning. Then
with time, crank it up to thirty to forty percent and let it revolve around
there for a while. The point is seeing each other without seeing too often.
Accepting your awesomeness is very crucial
because rarely would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who
isn’t. More importantly, recognizing the awesomeness in the person you are with
increases your chances of making him/her feel rest assured you see a worth and
many wonderful qualities in him/her.
Been yourself and accepting each other’s
habits cannot be over emphasized. A habit you can’t hide forever is best
exposed in due times. Best by informing him/her by talking about it and if not,
you show it while noticing the acceptance of the partner top this habit.
Love shares unreservedly. However, at the
early stage of the relationship isn’t the best time to lavish gifts. Of course
they are with the best of intentions and the swelling fact that he/she is
almost always on your mind, but buying a gift almost everything you see or get
the idea to do so isn’t the best.
If you are have the mind of spending a
large chunk of your lifetime with someone, knowing who he/she calls his/her
family and friend is very important. He/she still has full rights to her
friends and personal moments. Therefore, amidst learning and connecting with
his/her friends and family, learn to give them quality amount of space. Most important while having the interest to
know each other’s friends and family is that it shouldn’t be too fast. Getting
to know your partner before exposing him or her to your friends and family
under your recommendation is very wise.
Confessions of love are important at a
but freaks many people out if said too soon. “I love you” doesn’t have to
be said until you feel and you sure you aren’t just in an emotional love bubble
that burst at any time.
Did I leave anyone out? Add by comment.
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