FAILED MARRIAGES AND BROKEN HOMES: episode 2

The first episode hinted the causes of failed marriages which eventually leads to broken homes. As a recap, once the foundation of the marriage is faulty, whatever else built on it would fail and fall crumbling in no time.

Correctly asserting that, the consequences of fail marriages and broken homes on couples and children (if there are any) should be stressed with the hope of raising awareness for people that hurry into ‘marital eloping’.

The crises in a “broken” home are not painless as it may seem in movies. In most marriage, even before the official divorce is eventually filed for those that do, the preliminary absence of happiness and constant state of agitation is not physically and psychologically healthy for anyone. Though parents describe ‘filing a divorce’ as the best course of action when “couples can’t live together”, the effects of the official divorce are rarely positive.
 

THE EFFECTS FOR THE COUPLES/PARENTS:

•  Divorce causes depression. No matter how free and happy an ‘ex-spouse’ can claim after divorce, there’s still the emotional tie that cannot be broken and once a while, the mind visits old memories. Many end up imagining scenarios they could have acted better and what uniqueness the “ex” has.
•   Loss of the young ‘hopes and dreams’. Every customary marriage has the intentions of aging and making it through the test of time. However, when there are rifts and both spouse have to spit ways, the aspirations of lasting together and been a “marriage of example” that could be desired by others is shattered.
•   Increase in financial difficulty. Even though each spouse pays for his own groceries now, many expenses double up. For instance, one packs out of the house which means someone is paying for rent of new apartment. Some bills come by presence of utility and not intensity of usage. Also, couples that share a car (the only they have) to work and for running around would incur more when the individual costs is estimated after marriage.
• Societal stigma. For many parts of the world, a divorcee is seen as not been successful in an area of life. The treatment they receive from the society when marital issues are addressed is sometime distasteful.
• Feeling of regression. Many feel they have failed and are back to square one. Some even make utterances like “when it comes to marriage, I’m a failure…”

THE EFFECTS FOR THE CHILDRE: social and psychological effects make a long list;

• Emotional disorder. Many respond to parents failed marriage and eventual divorce with anger, aggressiveness, internal depression, anxiety and poor self-esteem. Some even get sick due to negative emotions.
• Psychosomatic turmoil. Self destruct acts, violent behaviors, impulsiveness and various delinquencies
• Academic disorientation. Most kids disconnect from peers and wreck their social life and skills in addition to a final downward spiral educationally.
• Others include exposure to bad parenting, fear of having a failed marriage when they get married too, probability early parenting (teen pregnancy), as well as using drugs among others.

Stating all these sharpens our sight to the realties we have in our society and emphasizing them isn’t to scare us from the concept and union of marriage but to respect it and the consequences of careless mistakes.

The next couple of episodes would be educating on fixing failed marriages and broken homes. To be continued in FAILED MARRIAGES AND BROKEN HOMES: episode 3. Meanwhile, feel free to comment and share.