Fighting fairly in relationships

Relationships have from time memorial been known to require work, patience, dedication and wisdom. Couple of months after the beginning, disagreements, argument and fights – not exchange of physical punches – are bound to crop up. These differences and fights aren’t what really ruin the relationship; no. Not resolving the fights amicably and coming to a common ground is the wrecker. Every type of fight has a way it’s been fought and since relationship fights aren’t the type of invading nations, you have to fight fairly. Here’s how:

• Always explain what the actual conflict is and remember to stick to the issue at hand. Do not bring up old mistakes and faults during a new fight.
• Maintain as much affectionate physical contact as possible during the fight. For example, holding hands during a fight would prevent you from lashing out excessively and unnecessarily. It helps you to avoid sarcasm and prevents use of agitating statements that exaggerate or overgeneralize and would cause your partner to feel victimised or hated.
• As much as your humane senses are intact, you don't use name-calling. That’s just too low for anyone you profess to love and cherish no matter the current situation. Its childish and dumb...period!
• Avoid decisive actions or statements like "I quit" or "You're killing me" during a fight.  You feel you need to quite the relationship? Do it after you have resolved the fight not before or during.
• Don't use the silent treatment. It changes nothing positively and only gives the devil on your shoulder enough time to poison your mind and partner’s also.
• Inviting third parties into your relationship discord most likely ruins it all. Keep your arguments as private as possible. Third parties do not know when your partner gets it right and makes you feel good. It’s unfair reporting his/her wrongs and not his/her rights.
• Sometimes, repeating or rephrase what you think the other person is saying and then asking if that’s the message he/she is trying to convey helps. It prevents assumptions and wrong conclusion. This could have saved many relationships.
• As much as you can, resolve your conflicts with a win-win solution. Someone doesn’t have to get the blame, feel bad or get the axe. This way you both reflect honour, love and respect for each other.

Bottom Line

You know what sets your partner off; that very thing that's causes the greatest sadness, pain and anger. whatever you do or say, do not go there. the small devil on your shoulder would say "its your best comeback or coolest way to dish back the pain"; but don't!

 

You might strive for a perfect relationship but remember most things in life aren't perfect.