I don't even know where to start... I have been thinking for a long time before I decided to put it in writing, but I am tired of carrying this load and I'd like to share it with you :)
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and 8 months... A long time, I know :) In the beginning, just like every start of a relationship, it was like a fairy tale... Crazy in love, wild and happy. You know how it is, right?
Only that in the past year and few months, everything turned upside down. He went abroad for a few months. When he came back, he came to live with me. I work and study at the same and it's sometimes really hard for me, but I think I am managing somehow :)
The thing is that he isn't helping me with anything. When he comes back from work, he sits on his computer and starts playing games till midnight.
I am the one who's cleaning, cooking, tidying up, washing and putting thins in order... In the beginning, it didn't bother me. I thought, he wasn't used to this kind of life just yet. I was really enjoying taking care of him. But he is taking it too far!!!
I don't think that he is even realizing how tired I feel sometimes and that I need a little help. We have discussed it many times and every time he says that he is going to change, that he is going to pay more attention to me and that he is going to start helping me, but...? Nothing is ever changing. I am sick of it! Things aren't going well and I can feel it. He says he loves me, but he is in no way showing that he treasures me. We are fighting almost every day and he has become increasingly stubborn. He blames me for everything!
I am not sure if it is my dynamic lifestyle or the arguing that we do, but I think our love is dead!!!Or at least as far as I'm concerned. I am just tired of fighting for the lost spark in our relationship.
Yes, I think I don't love him anymore and it is killing me to say this, because I remember how things used to be... So, the thing that I keep asking myself is, does a moment always come in which the love just dies? Or is this just not the right person for me?
Does such thing as true love even exist; the kind that makes you happy every day and makes you feel alive?
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