Thursday 3 October 2013
Stories & opinions: Why Am I So Unhappy In My Marriage
OK - so I'm 44. Been married for 20 years this Aug. He's 11 years older than me. He's a good guy, not abusive, works hard (big things I sort of take charge of so I dont have to constantly remind him of), he pulls his weight and more with chores, he loves me UNCONDITIONALLY, everyone likes him, he's not controlling yet I feel held back, unenthused, distant and for the past 2 years have been thinking of leaving. I've been to Drs, been on meds talked to him about EVERYTHING but am in constant limbo. I've looked online to move. I feel like I have this idea of what I want (it's not him) but is it all smoke and mirrors (an impossible, far fetched dream)? Fear is now keeping me from moving on...is whats out there better? Am I a selfish fool? Am I just going through a mid-life crisis? How long will this last?
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No; what's out there ISN"T better. It's just more lonely. Sounds like your fellow might be a bit TOO nice to you and you're bored with him. It happens to lots of couples. You do realize you're ripe for an affair, don't you.
ReplyDeleteTime to have some fun. Get out of the rut. He may be as bored with you as you are with him. Any husband will say how much he loves his wife whether he means it or not. Communicate your needs and let him communicate his.
ReplyDeleteAt about your age I felt my relationship was at a plateau and that it had somehow lost it's spark, my kids were leaving home, my nest was empty and my guy was dependable and loving but too damn predictable and not as exciting as he had been earlier. I went to his home office where he was working late one evening and stood in front of him in my birthday suit and took his hand and led him to the bedroom and whispered in his ear that I was going to screw his brains out and would keep on doing it as a new era was now beginning for us. It was time to turn the page put our romance front and center. Now twelve years later everything is still exciting and our sex life is amazing. Give him a positive wakeup call. We all get in ruts. You have a good thing, don't ruin it by straying. Straying will give you momentary excitement and years of regret!
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