Learning from your bad dating experience

A renowned sportsman got entangled with an immoral dealing which was inconsistent with his global status. He realized in good time that to get back to his hitherto elevated position, he needed a large dose of self-discipline, determination and self- denial. These done, he rode back to the prime position, refusing as it were, to be dwarfed by the jeers and ridicule of others.

There's gold in the bad experiences. Many relationships have made people laughing stocks in the society simply because the relationship started on the wrong foot. Realizing a bad relationship is a bad relationship, and the need to rise above the tempest which the relationship has brought to your life despite the ridicule takes strength. You can get your pride back after a bad relationship. How?

1. First, you need to allow yourself acknowledge you were hurt due to the break up. Understand it is okay to be sad and express some emotions of pain like crying, talk to a friend, pray to your creator... When you do this, it’s like you are releasing the feeling instead of bottling it in you.
2. Next step is for you to be aware of what you want in life and also in your relationship. Paint the picture of nature of person you are willing to allow into your life and how you want your relationship to turn out. Picking up the map would further psychologically certify how true it is that you have indeed strayed way in your former relationship.
3. Furthermore, you have to realise you are accountable for how others treat you. When you treat yourself good, people would have no choice but do the same. Some people put themselves in bad relationships and expect to be treated right. If you love and treasure yourself, you cannot commit yourself to someone that doesn’t give you time, respect, affection and reciprocal commitment. Love yourself in action and not just in words or thought.
4. Then you take responsibility for your roll and actions in failure of your last relationship. It’s not about blaming or judging yourself. It is about you been honest about your reasons for accepting the actions you agonized during your last relationship. This would help you avert anything like it in future.
5. Now you can get up and continue living your life; NOT scouting for a new partner! Life would bring that to you. Engage in other activities, enjoy your own company, help other people and create a mental, physical and social balance to your life gradually.

Always remember ‘intimate relationship’ is only a piece of the puzzle in your life. There’s so much more to you than your relationship; therefore, your relationship shouldn't derail you off purpose.