Relationship Problem and Solutions That Can Save Your Relationship - Communication

It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.

All relationship problems stem from poor communication; you can't communicate while you're checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section.

Problem-solving strategies

• Make an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let voicemail pick up your calls.
• If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
• Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ...."
• Use body language to show you're listening. Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message, and rephrase if you need to. For instance, say, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm. If what the other person really meant was, "Hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you," he or she can say so, but in a nicer way.