Stories & Opinions: How to Get Over a Breakup

We dated for three years and I truly did every single thing I ever could for her. I truly loved her, but now she claims I was only dragging her down and that she had to get rid of me; that I don't deserve her. When I decided that if she truly wants me out of her life and if she truly thinks that she's better off without me, then I would call her to settle the few things left between us (a few items of mine/hers and the running of a guild we did together) and I would never contact her again (as she wanted)... but she said that doing that was selfish and I still only cared about myself. I don't understand how the two go together, but I put every single thing I possible could into this relationship only to be absolutely and utterly rejected, so... I'll need some heavy treatment. :/ I have some happy memories, but I can't live life just hoping she'll call me back or something.

Well... it looks like my only chance of ever continuing that relationship is if she ever calls upon me one day in the future. In the mean time, I need to learn to move on. How exactly am I supposed to do that? In other words, how do you suggest I recover?

Break-Ups: How to move on when your relationship is over

Do you ever wish that you could just un-meet someone? Some relationships are that bad. 

After giving your heart, time and hopes to someone but situations proves the person isn't the best for you, its normal to feel hurt, perplexed and a bit lost. However, there's always remedy to a broken relationship other than sticking out for it. Its called "Moving On". Here are five effective steps.

Step 1: Stay away from your ex, and think of the "bad times". 

Snooping around your ex isn't the best way to move on from a failed relationship. Its normal to mourn the good times of your relationship and have urges to be around your ex, but that's when knowledge has to be placed ahead of emotio
ns. If your relationship ended for a good reason, don’t sit around thinking of excuses as to why you ‘should’ go and see him/her, in the hope that you’ll fall into each other’s arms again. Whenever the thoughts of getting back together crops up, remind yourself of the reason you broke up and probably some of your partner's 'unbearable habits' you are now rid of. This would make you have a feeling of "escape". 

Step 2: Introduce positive changes to your life

It’s a fact that most break-ups are painful; however, they could initiate the best mediums for personal development. This is when you could do many things you’ve always wanted but kept holding back because of your partner. At this moment, opinions and suggestions from them are weightless and get back to loving yourself even more. You wish to look one way or the other? The perfect time is after your break-up. Getting rid of things that remind you of your ex is also considered a positive change; this could be your wardrobe, hairstyle, room paint and the likes.

Step 3: Stay off alcohol

However hard it is to wrap your head around the fact that you just had a break up, always remember alcohol is the way forward. It has become a practice for people to take solace in alcohol after break-up and some end up calling the ex and engaging in “self-demining” acts while others do further things they regret long term. Alcohol always generates more problems than solutions. Don’t keep it in the fridge, don’t walk past the shop, and don’t even look at the pub on your way home from work or anywhere.

Step 4: Remember you’re not the first to be have a broken heart

Remembering you are not the first pass go through a problem surely won’t solve it but it’ll surely keep your mind on the possibility of having a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Look back into history and remember people that had similar issues and were glad they made an early correction. The effect of this is a psychological encouragement to strength your weak and confused emotional state.

Breakup tip 5: Recognize what is normal and what isn’t

Remember what you want in a relationship and things you should absorb because you ‘want to be in a relationship’. Realise how far you should and need to go on loving yourself. Remember replacing the vacant space in your relationship doesn’t have to be speedy or slow but gradual…when the right person comes along. Do not panic if you feel you never want to grow too close to any opposite sex again; it your psychological security at work trying to prevent you from frequent heart break. You’ll get over it.

Bottom Line:

Not all relationships must be repaired; some need to be dissolved and only the lessons learnt should be remembered. Not all break-ups are bad. 

Life Counsel: God is always "LOVE"

A King had a male servant who, in all circumstances always said to him; My king, do not be discouraged because everything God does is perfect, no mistakes.
One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king, the servant managed to kill the animal but couldn't prevent his majesty from losing a finger. Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said; if God was good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger. The servant replied, 'despite all these things, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He does is perfect, He is never wrong'. Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. While being taken to jail, he told the king again. God is Good & Perfect.
Later, he left for another hunt and was captured by savages who use human beings for sacrifice. In the altar, the savages found out that the king didn't have one finger in place, he was released because he was considered not "complete" to be offered to the gods. On his return to the palace, he authorized the release of his servant and said; My friend, God was really good to me. I was almost killed but for lack of a single finger I was let go. But I have a question; If God is so good, why did He allow me to put you in jail? He replied; My king, if I had gone with you, I would have been sacrificed because I have no missing finger. Everything God does is perfect, He is never wrong. Often we complain about life, and the negative things that happen to us, forgetting that nothing is random, and that everything has a purpose. God knows why He chose you to receive this message today, please bless someone with it by sharing it. Everything happens for a reason, things do happen for our own Good. God is Good!!!

Stories & Opinions: How can I get over his height?

I recently met someone who has been telling me how much he likes me and wants to get close to me. (This is a problem in itself for me, because I've never really been intimate with anyone before.) The problem for me is, I'm not really attracted to him because I'm 5'9" and he's 2-3 inches shorter than me. I've been attempting to get over this and to overcome it, because I realize how shallow it is. I like him otherwise, but his height, for me, adds to the already present physical awkwardness. I'd appreciate any advice on this.

Dump your partner's "ass" NOW if:

Relationships don't come easy. They appear in various types and circumstances and in different times and combinations. However any relationship turn out to be, it has the unique characteristic of have trying times and need to be worked on continuously like a husband man grows his vineyard. That been said, there are some relationships that aren't worth the stress. Its not about the concept of "relationship" but the people that constitute that relationship. Therefore, the earlier the better you dump your partners ass if: 

1. Everything begins and ends with him/her: Many people are so self-centred and they don't even no it. When a partner makes an effort in whichever way, it’s nice to get something in return. If you find yourself giving and getting nothing in return, it’s time to give the relationship the boot.

2. There's constant missing support: Presence (or absence) of things such as being there for one another, standing by each other, supporting one another and so on can either make or break a relationship. And if you find out that it had broken you more than it has mended you, it’s time to look beyond your relationship.

3. Your partner tells too much LIES: Lies are bad for relationships...and whatever necessitates him/her to lie in the relationship means honesty is gradually becoming a myth between you and your partner. If lies become a big part of maintaining peace in your relationship, it’s not a relationship in the first place.

4. Your partner can't do the Small Things: All relationships take time and effort, but, if things that should come naturally such as seeing your partner, going out together to spend time, then there’s a real problem there. Some attributes of affection should be poured in through actions and if this is missing...its better to start looking beyond the relationship.

5. Too much is been swept under the carpet: Some actions determine the future and health of a relationship; one is ability to resolve conflicts. While many may think sweeping issues under the carpet is better than resolving the cause of agitation, there would come a time when all that is swept under the carpet would be unveiled and then much more pain would come from it. If your partner prefers to dodge than resolving matters, then you need know your relationship would sometime "blow up" over your face and its better you move on before then. 

Your playing small does not serve the world. You don't shrink yourself so others won't feel insecure around you. You need make sure your relationship is an advantage to your life.

Stories & Opinions: And all of a sudden you're together?

Sort of a stupid question, but it's the main one I'm wondering about right now... So two people like each other, and then suddenly.... they're together?

How does that step happen? How do you officially enter a relationship (and when is it official)? What happens on both sides? How does it work? Or is it really not all that sudden? Or

does it simply depend on the people circumstances?

I'm in the situation where I can see myself slowly inching closer to a guy I like, but it is slow... and I'm not sure how/when the switch will happen... from being separate to being together. At

times I can feel a strong connection and it seems like we're together for a split second (mentally, in a weird unexplainable way), people who are wanting to get closer, but to everybody around us (who are (mutual) friends) we're just two people who barely know each other (and we act that part too). And at other times we don't seem to connect at all.

I'm just having a hard time imagining how the jump will happen (if at all). It's even harder for me to imagine a smooth transition.

Learning from your bad dating experience

A renowned sportsman got entangled with an immoral dealing which was inconsistent with his global status. He realized in good time that to get back to his hitherto elevated position, he needed a large dose of self-discipline, determination and self- denial. These done, he rode back to the prime position, refusing as it were, to be dwarfed by the jeers and ridicule of others.

There's gold in the bad experiences. Many relationships have made people laughing stocks in the society simply because the relationship started on the wrong foot. Realizing a bad relationship is a bad relationship, and the need to rise above the tempest which the relationship has brought to your life despite the ridicule takes strength. You can get your pride back after a bad relationship. How?

1. First, you need to allow yourself acknowledge you were hurt due to the break up. Understand it is okay to be sad and express some emotions of pain like crying, talk to a friend, pray to your creator... When you do this, it’s like you are releasing the feeling instead of bottling it in you.
2. Next step is for you to be aware of what you want in life and also in your relationship. Paint the picture of nature of person you are willing to allow into your life and how you want your relationship to turn out. Picking up the map would further psychologically certify how true it is that you have indeed strayed way in your former relationship.
3. Furthermore, you have to realise you are accountable for how others treat you. When you treat yourself good, people would have no choice but do the same. Some people put themselves in bad relationships and expect to be treated right. If you love and treasure yourself, you cannot commit yourself to someone that doesn’t give you time, respect, affection and reciprocal commitment. Love yourself in action and not just in words or thought.
4. Then you take responsibility for your roll and actions in failure of your last relationship. It’s not about blaming or judging yourself. It is about you been honest about your reasons for accepting the actions you agonized during your last relationship. This would help you avert anything like it in future.
5. Now you can get up and continue living your life; NOT scouting for a new partner! Life would bring that to you. Engage in other activities, enjoy your own company, help other people and create a mental, physical and social balance to your life gradually.

Always remember ‘intimate relationship’ is only a piece of the puzzle in your life. There’s so much more to you than your relationship; therefore, your relationship shouldn't derail you off purpose. 

Secrets to a truly joyful life Day Five

Do you feel the need to inject some joy into your life? Different unfair circumstances in life popping up at you in life and you feel it’s like everything evil in life just wants to associate with you? Then grab some happiness for yourself.

Practice Giving More and Expecting Less Giving more and expecting less does not necessarily mean you give material things.

Sometimes giving is in the form of time, attention and love. You can give your time to your spouse, children and other friends and family or lend an ear to someone who needs to be listened to. Maybe you have knowledge that you can share-that is giving. If you have food, give to the needy and if not, volunteer somewhere. Give a kind word or pray for someone-those are also forms of giving.

Stories & Opinions: I am really confused! Please, help!

Everything started when I least expected and what happened was something that I could never imagine happening to me!

I was at a company party! Dancing, laughing, alcohol and right now, everything seems pretty fuzzy. I don't remember everything, but I remember enough to have occasional images coming up in my mind that are making me blush.

... Images full of passion and in which I strongly desire a certain man. I am positive that if he were here and if it were to be the right time, we wouldn't have possibly stopped by just with kissing or touching!!!

I have been married for a year and a half, but the man from that other night was not my husband, but a colleague of mine. I can't stop thinking about that! I am trying to figure out why it happened and I keep getting to answers that are not giving me any peace!

I am assuming that everything is due to the fact that I have only been with one man my entire life; my wonderful, loving and serene husband; the only man that I want to be the father of my children!

We have been together for 8 years and I am 25 years old. Maybe this is the reason why; that I am inexperienced, I don't really know! All I know is that I don't want to hurt him, but I can't be possibly be sure that I would be able to refrain myself from doing anything...

I want to stop! But I can't! Every day I spend a lot of time with my colleague and I am getting more and more attracted to him! After what happened, we “agreed” that what happened there the other night will remain there. But every time I look at him, I get all those passionate images in my head and I just can't stop myself...

I can see it in his eyes that he wants me too, I have no doubts about that! I think it's a matter of time for what happened the other night to happen again, but this time, without having the alcohol as the good excuse that it is!

How do I make myself stop?

How do I make myself stop wanting him and how do I bring back the passion in my relationship with my husband???

I don't want to continue falling asleep next to my husband and to keep thinking about someone else!

Fighting fairly in relationships

Relationships have from time memorial been known to require work, patience, dedication and wisdom. Couple of months after the beginning, disagreements, argument and fights – not exchange of physical punches – are bound to crop up. These differences and fights aren’t what really ruin the relationship; no. Not resolving the fights amicably and coming to a common ground is the wrecker. Every type of fight has a way it’s been fought and since relationship fights aren’t the type of invading nations, you have to fight fairly. Here’s how:

• Always explain what the actual conflict is and remember to stick to the issue at hand. Do not bring up old mistakes and faults during a new fight.
• Maintain as much affectionate physical contact as possible during the fight. For example, holding hands during a fight would prevent you from lashing out excessively and unnecessarily. It helps you to avoid sarcasm and prevents use of agitating statements that exaggerate or overgeneralize and would cause your partner to feel victimised or hated.
• As much as your humane senses are intact, you don't use name-calling. That’s just too low for anyone you profess to love and cherish no matter the current situation. Its childish and dumb...period!
• Avoid decisive actions or statements like "I quit" or "You're killing me" during a fight.  You feel you need to quite the relationship? Do it after you have resolved the fight not before or during.
• Don't use the silent treatment. It changes nothing positively and only gives the devil on your shoulder enough time to poison your mind and partner’s also.
• Inviting third parties into your relationship discord most likely ruins it all. Keep your arguments as private as possible. Third parties do not know when your partner gets it right and makes you feel good. It’s unfair reporting his/her wrongs and not his/her rights.
• Sometimes, repeating or rephrase what you think the other person is saying and then asking if that’s the message he/she is trying to convey helps. It prevents assumptions and wrong conclusion. This could have saved many relationships.
• As much as you can, resolve your conflicts with a win-win solution. Someone doesn’t have to get the blame, feel bad or get the axe. This way you both reflect honour, love and respect for each other.

Bottom Line

You know what sets your partner off; that very thing that's causes the greatest sadness, pain and anger. whatever you do or say, do not go there. the small devil on your shoulder would say "its your best comeback or coolest way to dish back the pain"; but don't!

 

You might strive for a perfect relationship but remember most things in life aren't perfect.

Stories & Opinions: I've Been Pulling All The Weight In The Relationship

I'm tired of doing everything and getting treated like crap. My girlfriend has been very passive in the relationship. I've gotten her gifts, taken her out, and reassured her when she was sick, or just not feeling well. She enjoyed our time together. I've been there for her, but she doesn't seem to care much for me. She didn't get me a birthday present (and she did have several opportunities), she'd rather text and call one of my friends (who she just met, and my friend isn't interested in her romantically) than me, and I'm pretty sure she isn't getting me a Christmas present either (she is christian, and I already got her one).

She ignores texts from me, so I barely ever text her (I don't ignore people), but she replies to texts from my friend. I'm not sure if she's weak-willed, or if she doesn't notice that she doesn't have her priorities straight. Either way, as much as I love almost everything about her -I refuse to be treated like crap and pull all the weight.

I want to break up with her, but I'm tired of being the one who does all the work. (She's the type of person who has a hard time breaking up. In her previous relationship she sort of ignored her ex, instead of directly ending it with him.) From now on I'm not going to put all this effort and energy into the relationship. I want her to break up with me, because she's the one who in the past has had trouble with it. I think it would be good for her.

Right now we're still in a relationship, but if she starts fully ignoring me instead of breaking up, then I'll end the relationship in person.

I care about her even if she doesn't care about me. What should I do in the next few weeks (depending on what she does)?

Dating & Relationships With Awareness

This video is one you should watch.

So helpful for dealing with:

- Abuses

- Taking control

- Getting over stale circumstances

- Dating right

- Dealing with breakups and many more

- Redirecting your relationship.

Secrets to a truly joyful life Day Four

Do you feel the need to inject some joy into your life? Different unfair circumstances in life popping up at you in life and you feel it’s like everything evil in life just wants to associate with you? Then grab some happiness for yourself.

Practice Gratitude and Appreciation Pay attention to all the things that you can appreciate about your life and in other people and also yourself.

If it strikes you, take out a piece of paper and write down all the things that you are grateful for or maybe even write a note to someone and let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life. Another great idea would be to send flowers to your mother or your grandmother-do something that brings a smile to someone you appreciate.

Stories & Opinions: I, the other woman

Hi all known and unknown friends! I wanted to write my story here for a long time. It is really trivial thing to read on the net I have an affair with a married man.

I know that many of you are going to call me names and tell me who terrible is that I’m destroying a family but I am also sure that many of you will support me. We met in the most trivial way via the Internet. It turned out that we had so many things in common, hobbies, interests, personality...

To clarify we both lived in the same city, but we are born in small towns. I didn’t intentionally seduce him; we didn’t plan all of this it just happened. Later on he told me he had never cheated on his wife for the 10 in years in which they were married. And now he assures me that he wanted to divorce her and marry me. I am 29 years old, divorced with no children and he has 2.

He is very kind and considerate, but I'm afraid of all the possible consequences. I want to be with him but I do not want his children to live without a father. I'm afraid that I will not meet his expectations and he will someday leave me. We see each other almost every day, our work is linked.

I do not know what to do. Everything is great between us, but on the other hand there are his marriage, his wife, his children. Early in our relationship he said that he would get a divorce but still he does nothing. It seems to me that I'm not insistent enough.

Tell me your opinion and what you think is best for all of us.

Stories & Opinions: Help with Boyfriend

Hello all,
I recently found out my boyfriend has been using a page similar to this one to flirt with girls (in sometimes sexual ways) and that he has been using sexual (pornographic) apps on his android phone. This all happened just two weeks before he accused me of cheating on him with one of my best guy friends and I found out last night about this online flirting and the porn addiction. We've been together for almost a year and have been through some rough times but I just don't know what to do about this... Any advice?

Common Relationship Errors that lead to crashes

In one of the local newspapers recently, it was reported that a wealthy middle-aged man driving his brand new car plunged into the river and died instantly. Yet, there are traffic sign posts on the highway to inform and to warn motorists of hazards on the road before the river. Curiously, the man died because of his apparent disregard for highway codes. Many jump into relationships like a brand new car and they forget to keep all safety signs. They make many mistakes - some without knowing it, but many are carelessly! Let's see some of the relationship errors they commit...and point to ourselves the 'relationship warning signs'.  

•Getting into relationship because everyone is: Its unfortunate many people know from the onset that there is nothing for them in a relationship with a particular person but still go ahead. Why? Because that's the only available person for now. In such a case as this, many go through hell and some are hard to leave. A relationship without healthy prospects should not be ventured into.

•Non compatibility: Relationships takes two people to walk together, closely and heartily. However, when the way of life of one partner is different from the other and nothing thrills them about each other; that relationship is a bomb waiting to explode on their faces. 

•Lack of priority: Does your partner assume a reasonable priority level in your life if you make a honest personal inventory of how much time and energy you put into the issues and relationships in your life? If not, soon or later, you'll start having complains and its because you never really wanted the relationship. 

•Focused on mistakes: When you concurrently focus on what you don’t like about your partner, the mistakes made, and differences between you two, right in you - there would be more distance that you have psychologically created which would result to i'll-actions. Stop the thoughts and get your mind off the mistakes. 

•Inadequate attention to partner: "where your treasure is, there would your heart be". When partners get swamped by work(profession), events and situations that gets them super busy with their personal lives and they forget to stay connected with their relationship, then soon they would start seeing cracks on the walls! There's need to take some time out and make the other person feel special. 

•Not giving each other space: Time alone is a necessity for relationships to flourish. You need to be missed and your partner needs some time to watch you from afar and observe how wonderful you have been. 

•Zero compromise on little things: You always want to have your way in all things and give no reasoning to the position and wishes of your partner? Let me tell you an 'open secret'; if you don't change, you are gonna wreck that relationship to the extent the pieces won't be found. 

•Expecting your partner to change: That's a wish you shouldn't hold your breath on. Except your partner sees the reason to, wants to and is trying change; let that person be how he is! That's the person you have fallen for and loved.

•Assumptions and suspicions: This is also described as a slow poison. Makes you partner feel victimised in the relationship.   

Inadequate communication: Except you and your partner can perfectly read each other's minds, then you need to open your mouth and talk! Talk right, talk respectfully and be express your heart out. 

Be the change you want to see in your relationship!

Stories & Opinions: Got a "girlfriend" what now?!

So basically I scored a girlfriend at my friend party. And now I'm freaking out cause I don't know what to do next? The biggest problem that I absolutely don't know her and the "relationship" idea was hers.

Secrets to a truly joyful life Day Three

Do you feel the need to inject some joy into your life? Different unfair circumstances in life popping up at you in life and you feel it’s like everything evil in life just wants to associate with you? Then grab some happiness for yourself.

Practice Forgiveness On this day, think of everyone that has hurt you, offended you or has done other things to your detriment.

One by one, forgive them. Commit yourself to forgiving every single person and circumstance that has hurt you in any way. Commit to also forgiving yourself for all your past mistakes and for allowing anything or anyone into your life that did not or does not serve your good.

Stories and Opinions: The Cheating Husband

Hello everyone,

I have been also reading the blogs of the people that have shared their personal problems here.

I have been married for almost 29 years. For the past 2 or 3 years, I have been having the feeling that my husband is being intimate with one of his colleagues. We all work together, him, the colleague and me. The mistress has started to openly display their relationship.

I don't know what to do. We are now arguing at home all the time. He has recently changed his attitude towards me in a positive way, but we are still not having any sex. I can't figure out whether their relationship is continuing or not.

I feel terrible!

Please, can someone give me an advice?

Suspicions that kill a relationship

Suspicions come due do lack of trust for the partner and trust is most important for any relationship. Constant suspicion of your partner's activities and moves surely has the ability to crash your relationship in the most cruel manner.

Some people confuse suspicion with being insecure; however, suspicion and insecurity are two different habits. "Excess of everything is bad"; the same holds true for suspecting your partner all the time. If I see my partner being cozy with another girl and I feel jealous, that is insecurity; whereas, checking his log, keeping an eye on him all day and night is suspicion.

Everyone wants to be informed about their partner's moves; but its noteworthy that being overtly possessive most often turn out to be the deadliest wrecker that can even break a relationship.

Suspicion makes your partner feel like "a victim of the relationship". Remember everyone needs space and time alone sometimes; reacting to this standard requirement with signs of suspicions is uncalled for and painful to the 'wrongly suspected' partner.

"I have been through it. My wife's ex was a cheat and now she is very suspicious. My life is hell because of that. A while back, my call log was not getting updated due to some reason and my wife was suspicious that I am having an affair, and thought I therefore delete the call log so that she does not come to know. How frustrating it is to be blamed of things which you have not done. We had a fight for two days till I could prove to her the fault in my mobile. Such incidents are killing my love for her which she will never realise."

An old man once said "believe all things you're been told" - until you have real prove to believe otherwise. Don't go about searching for proofs your partner is cheating because you might just be searching for something that isn't existing. Help yourself by;
•Sit down and outline your underlying reason(s) you do not trust your partner.
•Reduce checking up on your partner and seeking reassurance.
•Openly discuss whatever suspicious notions/activities that are bothering you.
•Always remember to give others benefit of doubt.
•For as much as you can, stop using past unfavourable situations to forecast the present and future.

Suspicion is the worst thing to ever happen in a relationship. It kills the relation like slow poison.

You get scared so much of loving someone too much and you miss out on true love by trust, then you just missed out on the best part of living.

Stories & Opinions: I, the Liar

Hello to everyone here!!!

After some frequent visits on this website and after reading some stories, I decided to finally share mine as well. It's about cheating, but on my part.

I am 34 years old, married and have a beautiful girl.

My story began when I had decided to go abroad, because I wanted to make some money and also because I was curious to why everyone wants to travel around the world. So, I left for Italy with my sister and we were relying on a friend of ours to help us find a job there.

We arranged to meet the above-mentioned friend named T. And at first, I didn't pay too much attention when I saw him. Although, his height made him impossible not to notice. So, after a few times meeting him I realized how kind, smiling and easy going he was.

He had some problems with his wife, who he had left in Canada and kept begging to come to Italy. Gradually, we reached a point in which I began to like this man and started wanting him a 100 %.

I wasn't expecting anything besides sex. I was confused, in a foreign country with a foreign language, with some people that I didn't understand and with him; kind, caring and in love with me.

However, he quickly started dreaming about how we were going to create our own life, how I was going to get a divorce, how much he loved me. I wasn't feeling the same way. I wanted to go back to Canada and back to what I had left there; he was also acting weird after living without a woman for so long.

And so, I couldn't handle this anymore, I kept thinking about my child and I left for Canada. Then my pain started. I immediately felt the lack of attention, affection, the spark in my sex life and we began maintaining an endless phone relationship by writing secret text messages in the middle of the night. “My love, amore, sweetheart.”

The distance was making us want each other even more. This is when I made all the mistakes than I did and I told him a bunch of lies. I was telling him how I hated my husband and that I wanted a divorce. It wasn't easy to live like this at all.

I was lying to the both of us. I changed, became frustrated and my husband reacting to this didn't take long. There were constant scandals that were making my child suffer when she heard them. Everything was a complete mess.

T. was pushing me to leave and go to him and I couldn't leave my child and my husband. There was also something else that was more important than everything.

I was not in love with T., even though I used to say it back to him all the time when he told me that he loved me. I didn't want a future with a man that I didn't have strong feelings for. THIS KEPT GOING ON FOR 3 YEARS.

During this period we spent very little time physically together, because this was only possible when he came back to Canada and I could come up with an excuse. I did know that I had to put a stop to this living hell that I had created myself.

Every night, I was full with regrets. I kept thinking of how I didn't deserve neither one of them. I couldn't find the words to express my desire to break it off with T. So, I left it to him to figure it out.

I didn't get a divorce. I continue living with this huge burden on my shoulders which remained unshared. I made an attempt to meet with T. and to tell him how I felt, but it was another mistake, because he saw it as a willingness to continue our relationship and to try to have a life together one day.

I gave up and I stopped contacting him and so did he. I hope that he has found his true love. Regardless, I still feel awful about it.

I messed up T.'s life with my lies and I ruined my family's balance and trust. Nothing is the same anymore.

So there it is, I shared my lie with you and I hope that someone might understand how I feel, even though I am not a very good writer. I don't know if I'll get a reply from any of you, but at least my story can serve as an example.

Secrets to a truly joyful life Day Two

Do you feel the need to inject some joy into your life? Different unfair circumstances in life popping up at you in life and you feel it’s like everything evil in life just wants to associate with you? Then grab some happiness for yourself.

Practice Letting Go Just for today, let go of anything that is toxic to you; let go of toxic thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Abandon your need to go after that goal or deadline. Let go of needing people to like you or agree with you and let go of blaming and judging others. Just for this day, be content with everything as it is.

Living with Female roomates

I have four roomates now, three of them are females. The first 10 days or so have been fine. A couple times I had to hold a piss so they could do their hair, but nothing insane. I find two of them sexually attractive, and one of them has expressed interest by texting me frequently and offering to take me out and cook for me for my birthday. She also muttered under her breath "Smells delicious" upon going in the bathroom after my shower. Any advice moving forward? The good news is I'm only catching the last three months of a lease, so if things get messy I can split. Share your experiences, opinions, and advice. Thank you.

Which of these would be your advice:

1. I'm a woman living with male roommates and we all do all these things. One of them just has a really nice smelling shower gel. You might be reading too much into it.

2. Just ask her if she wants to go out for drinks or something. Or whatever your thing is.

3. My advice is to never ever go after someone you live with. It can get really ugly when it all goes bad and trust me it usually does. Be careful. Any advances could make living together awkward if the advances don't go well.

4. I wouldn't recommend it. Crapping on your own doorstep is not a good idea. I've lived with women a few times, and the opportunity has been there for the taking, but the last place you want complications is in your living space.

5. Don't shit where you eat. Period. If you're dumb enough to shit where you eat, at least let her make the first move.

Stories & Opinions: My messed up life

It all started when I was 12, I had friends that are older than me, very older... and they were dating and I was very curious into knowing what dating felt like; so I had my first boyfriend who was 6 years older than I was. I know, it was not clever but I loved him... this guy would play me like a ball, I would see him with other women but I didn’t care as I believed it was love... so I kept holding strong, till he started beating me because he believed i was misbehaving. I still stood by him, even after de punches and the kicking, he impregnated my friend and claimed it was a mistake and I believed him and still held on. I mean that’s how much I really loved the guy…he was my everything... till one day there was a public function and everyone who was everyone was there and he decided to beat me up in public as he was so drunk and it was that moment that I decided I’m done with him, thou I loved him... I completed my school and went to varsity, now i started dating different men coz I was hurt that it didn’t work out with the love of my life. So I would date not for long and dump them; these people loved me but I didn’t care and Junior was one of them. He cried for me when I broke up with him, I felt pity but I had just cum out of a relationship with the love of my life so I didn’t care much. Junior really wanted it to work coz he introduced me to his family but I was just not ready for that so I dumped him... then I met this guy (let me call him Henry).

Henry was very patient with me even with all my crap of giving him a tough time, he was still patient and I started liking him a lot and when I finally fell for him, his ex-started with me, threatening me, calling me with his phone and all that crap, but I still held on as I’m one who likes competitions a lot. I had a graduation party and both Henry and Junior were there; Henry was Mr. party but somehow I wished Junior was...so after the party Henry left back to his place as he had to work the following day. I kissed Junior and we talked and I fell for him hard this time but there was nothing I could do as I was with Henry. Than one morning Henry's ex calls me at 3am with his phone, I was very pissed but i didn’t ask him about it, I decided to hang out with this guy who was crazy about me and Henry got to hear about it, apparently they told him I’m sleeping with the guy; so he broke up with me.

It hurt me a lot but I am a strong person I pulled up and then I went back to Junior and still with him, I’m in contact with his family and I like it but the problem is I feel as if Junior is pulling back. I think he has fear that I might dump him again, but I won’t I’m in love with him now more than ever... but he keeps blowing me off and yea it’s all my fault. I messed up my life coz now Henry wants me back, do I go back or do I stay with Junior...I have really grown fond of him.

Secrets to a truly joyful life Day One

Do you feel the need to inject some joy into your life? Different unfair circumstances in life popping up at you in life and you feel it’s like everything evil in life just wants to associate with you? Then grab some happiness for yourself.

Practice Tolerance and Acceptance Pay attention to irritating things and people and then shift your approach and perspective towards them.

Rather than get upset that things are not going your way or people are not behaving the way you believe they should, just accept them as they are. Don’t try to change anything or anyone; accept them completely as they are.

Stories and Opinions: Hiding my Heart

I just want to confide something in this site, about my story.

I never had real crush. All of them are actors/singers. It was this second semester of my 3rd year in college when I started to feel this kind of emotion. It was because of this man, when I see him. I've seen him often since I transferred in the university and I don't know why just now? I can't tell anyone about this matter. I'm a dark horse and a bit of conservative.

I want to be close to him, I want to talk to him but there's no chance for that. The worst is he'll be graduating this semester and that means I will never see him again. I will surely miss the time we accidentally looked at each other. I will miss the times when we're in the library. I just can't imagine the next semester without seeing him again. Only a month is left for that chance.

Upon graduating, he'll soon be back on his own country. Soon he'll have a family of his own. I have no hopes to be with him the moment he left this country.

It's so depressing that there's only a month left to see him so I'll cherish every moments secretly looking at him.

How I wish that the feeling is mutual.

Anyways, I'm still young and who knows, time will come there'll be a chance for us.

WORDS 2: Recovering from ill-spoken words

Some people are specialized in speaking wrong hurtful words to people. A way to pull through this world where almost everyone is guilty of misuse of words has to be devised.

1. Personal cautiousness of the type of words used plus the probably effect to you – the speaker and others – the hearers. This has to be on everyone’s mind and by this much trouble would be averted but personally and in the various types of relationships we engage in. Wrong personal confessions have a way of pulling us down psychologically let alone speaking evil to others.

2. Recognize circumstances in your life where words have caused pain. This mostly come from people, some wrongly say them thinking they are helping you while others say them intentionally to hurt you. For example “You’re hopeless/useless”, “You will never be the man your father was”, “You are so lazy/fat/stupid/foolish etc. Remember how bad you felt? Now promise not to do that to anyone else and importantly, you’ll be better than the person said.

3. Have you said stuffs to cause pain for anyone? Try remembering and setting the record straight by apologizing to that person in writing or preferable in face to face. This way, you have discontinued the treacherous act of ‘people pulling people down’.

4. Understand a common stance that people usually use hurting words due to their current situation and problem. They are most probably speaking from their own pain and directing it outwardly at you. This therefore isn’t worth ruining your day or life over.

5. Make it a habit to utter positive pronouncements towards yourself. Say them frequently (even when all events around you attempt to prove otherwise). Write them out if you less busy and keep them in places (anywhere and if possible everywhere).

When our words show love and kindness; if our words lift people instead of pulling them down, the would everyone love to be with us and all relationship from the cordial to intimate ones be filled with soothing healing every time we speak.

Heal the world with your words - spoken or written

Stories & Opinions: Important thing you have to know about love

Am a guy of 19yrs still schooling. Am really in love with a girl but I just don’t know how to tell her because she was my senior. Later on I toll one of her friend who told me to just meet her and tell her what’s on my mind but I told her I couldn’t; however, if she could only get me her number then she agree to do that for me. Getting her number I just gave her a call and introduce myself to her not realizing she is already in love with me already. So we start dating each other and we are still together till now. The only thing about love is that don’t be scared of someone you love; just tell her your mind.

Words 1: Words hurt your relationship

Words can be very dangerous ‘things’; equally capable of bringing peace and inciting violence. They get under your skin, they make you feel, they make you hurt, make you love, make you alive. Everyone knows this but many people still dish out harmful words out too much. We all need to be careful of how we choose to use words.

Using harsh communication when relationship seems a bit disturbed; during arguments for instance, partners often resort to name-calling and abundant cursing. Furthermore, ill-speaking of your partner’s family, friends or relatives is also common; calling them names and stressing their downsides really hurts because you are indirectly getting at her. These are how words really drag the relationship south and push partners further apart.

Words that are well seasoned create a thirst in your partner to listen. When you use words that are affirms motivation, your partner listens. Forgiving words increases the ease for your partner to accept their failure and improve. 

Words spell out your inner countenance. If those words are tolerant, then they invite your partner to share his/her world with you. So, choose your words wisely.

Stories & Opinions: Must be fate

Induction day, the start of my new job I was ushered In to a tiny office with three other people, when in popped this good looking but short guy called Stephen he is the office manager of my new retail position. We all filled out the necessary paperwork and talked about ourselves, talked about music and activities we like to do. Straight away me and Stephen had things in common all the time me thinking he's kinda cute :) we all headed towards the warehouse where he put on a high vis jacket 4 sizes too big for him it looked like a dress I couldn't stop smiling and he kept looking at me whilst going through safety training he realised what I was smiling about. 

After that day I didn't see him or talk to him much for a few weeks as I'm pretty shy, but one weekend there was a leaving do for a guy on my department, I got to the pub pretty early that day for abit of liquid confidence as I still didn't know my colegues that well. Then there he was Stephen walking towards to our table and sat right next to me I was feeling rather nervous as I didn't know how to act with my manager out of work but turns out he was very chatty and we had some funny conversations he brought his twin brother along who at the time was trying to make a pass at me but I wasn't interested. As the night progressed me and ate had a few drinks, had a dance and a laugh then he kissed me on the dance floor in a small rock club, by this point I was quite drunk and a friend had to call me a taxi. The next day all the rumors were flying about and other managers heard of what happened and warned me off "stay away from management it's not professional" to be honest what I do in my spare time has nothing to do with them but I did what I was told. Months went by when we would chat at work but it was harmless, then it came to another famous work night out where I unfortunately got way too drunk and broke my foot falling off a 3ft stage which I didn't know till morning. My parents came into work with me the next day with my cast on to prove I broke it, every one gathered round laughing recalling the night out then Stephen came down from the office really concerned about me and told my dad "I'll have to take care of her next time" which I thought was sweet. I was off work for 6 weeks. When I returned me and Stephen would always have our in jokes and just have a laugh in general. By this point I had developed strong feelings for him but I was too afraid to tell him so I didn't, I confessed to a work mate on Halloween that I really liked him but that was a mistake as this person would tease and embarrass me every time Stephen walked past.

2 months later came our works Christmas do in a working mans club, where everyone was taking turns on the karioke, it was Stephens turn and I ran up behind him and we both started singing, after that he came up to me asking if I would sing another song then another then another. When it got to 12pm the whole group made it's way to a night club. I didn't realise at the time that there was some trouble between Stephen and another member of staff that night which I thought would end up in a fight luckily enough they just argued it out and I clocked Stephen standing by himself so I approached and asked if he was ok then out of the blue he said " I really like you, I have since we first met but didn't know how to tell you" I was so happy inside and a little shocked I just said " me too".

We have been together for 2 years and 2 months and I can't be any happier.

Here’s the unbelievable part: About 6 months ago we decided our parents should finally meet, so we went to a carvery for lunch my parents were already waiting there for us when me Stephen and his mother arrived, to our shock that they had known each other there entire life and that my grandma and Stephens grandma were best friends whilst they were pregnant. They had lost contact when my mom got married. Fate has brought our families back together.

I had never met Stephen before I started working with him.

Thanks for reading sorry it's long ;)

Maintaining Joyful Love

Great passionate love is wonderful to have and retaining it needs simple continuous work. Here's how in three ways.
1. Give your partner three genuine expressions of appreciation a day. It can come in form of appreciation for things he/she's always been doing for you or for something special once done. Endeavour you say it out loud — and that you mean it. This makes your partner feel useful in your life, appreciated and respected.
2. Create time; more like an appointment, at least twice a week to spend minimum of 15 minutes with you spouse. No phones or whatever technology except it solely for playing music. Also, kissing and cuddling and talking, with sex are completely off the table during this time.
3. Endeavour to recreate sensual emotions of passion at least once a week. Twice a week is Most effective. This finds a way of re-lighting the sparks that makes marriages long lasting and happy. This is really finds a to curb fear, open up to one another and release great sense of sexual goddess inside each other.

Healthy Relationship Requirement

#1: Strong, Healthy Body. Physical health is necessary for a healthy relationship. A fit body improves the odds of a healthy relationship. A strong and healthy removes you from been the "always in need and can't give much" position. It helps been able to without restrain do various things to help your family.
#2: Spirit and Will power. The ever ready disposition of moving the relationship amidst situations depends on the psychological strength. Positivity, trust, balanced communication and such all comes in here.
#3: An open Heart: Everyone has a desire to be deeply known and deeply loved. Some people fool themselves and try to hide this but it doesn't remove the fact. An open hearts makes you willing to overcome fear and your past harm. Then you are boundless and able to love ferociously.

Stories & Opinions: Does love always die?

I don't even know where to start... I have been thinking for a long time before I decided to put it in writing, but I am tired of carrying this load and I'd like to share it with you :)

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and 8 months... A long time, I know :) In the beginning, just like every start of a relationship, it was like a fairy tale... Crazy in love, wild and happy. You know how it is, right?

Only that in the past year and few months, everything turned upside down. He went abroad for a few months. When he came back, he came to live with me. I work and study at the same and it's sometimes really hard for me, but I think I am managing somehow :) 

The thing is that he isn't helping me with anything. When he comes back from work, he sits on his computer and starts playing games till midnight. 

I am the one who's cleaning, cooking, tidying up, washing and putting thins in order... In the beginning, it didn't bother me. I thought, he wasn't used to this kind of life just yet. I was really enjoying taking care of him. But he is taking it too far!!!

I don't think that he is even realizing how tired I feel sometimes and that I need a little help. We have discussed it many times and every time he says that he is going to change, that he is going to pay more attention to me and that he is going to start helping me, but...? Nothing is ever changing. I am sick of it! Things aren't going well and I can feel it. He says he loves me, but he is in no way showing that he treasures me. We are fighting almost every day and he has become increasingly stubborn. He blames me for everything!

I am not sure if it is my dynamic lifestyle or the arguing that we do, but I think our love is dead!!!Or at least as far as I'm concerned. I am just tired of fighting for the lost spark in our relationship. 

Yes, I think I don't love him anymore and it is killing me to say this, because I remember how things used to be... So, the thing that I keep asking myself is, does a moment always come in which the love just dies? Or is this just not the right person for me?

Does such thing as true love even exist; the kind that makes you happy every day and makes you feel alive?

Quite funny: Married Two Weeks....I say "oops"

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN $#!*! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT $#!* IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

Stories & Opinions: After I cheated on him...

Hi there.

Here is my story.

I am a 26 year old woman, I am pretty and I have a nice profession and a secure job.

Four years ago I married my husband for love. 

He is a very sexy man and he likes women a lot. I knew this before, but I guess I thought that after he marries he will become a new man, besides I was madly in love with him and he was in me.

We lived very well. Of course we had our arguments like every other normal family, but we always found ways to solve all our problems. 

Recently though, I started noticing this specific sparkle in his eyes when he scanned young girls. And they will in return look him over. At the beginning I was amused, I was proud with him, it was a nice thought that I owe him, that he is MINE. But I guess I overestimated my capabilities to have him only for myself. 

To cut the long story short, I understood in a second that he was cheating on me. I went crazy! 

What I hated most was that he was replacing them very often. 

After a mad argument, my husband solemnly swore that he would stop with his love adventures, that he can’t imagine his life without me. I trusted him, because he was so miserable and….sweet. But only after half a year it all happened again. 

Then it dawned on me to pay him back and make him feel betrayed, just like I felt. 

I decided to cheat on him, what is more I have my way and am quite successful with guys. I chose my “candidate” – young and good-looking, and I knew he liked me for some time.

I went to bed with him, but I did not feel at all relieved. On the contrary, I felt worse. I felt I have lost not only my marital honor, but also my self-respect.

Instead of paying him back, I feel miserable and dirty.

How can I live with this? What should I do? Shall I confess it all to him?

What would happen to me..

LOVE is an action word

Love does exist. Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything; It is rare; it takes time and patience; it takes work and so you need to deal with it. We've seen many people give up on love because it needed much work. It was too much burden for them to set their love-life on the right path because first they left it on "autopilot" and it went so much astray. It became too much work to get it back on track and most choose to ditch that love-life and opt for another.  

Showing a little affection and care shouldn't be so hard. Yet in many relationships, people forget that one small loving gesture (or many) can go a long way. We get busy and stressed; we take each other for granted. It isn't easy to suppress our own agenda and put our partner's first but that is one act of love. Love needs continual actions to keep it 'right'. What acts? Let's see.

• Demonstrate respect and admiration. 

• Express kindness and care

• Go out of your way to 'be there' for your partner

• Placing your partner's goals first

• Been open to your partner's requests and assuming all requests are important 

• Altering your plans for your spouse's sake

• Do something small but special for your partner like surprise flowers or giving a massage

• Express appreciation with simple “Thank you”

• Putting much effort in understanding your partner's thoughts and feelings

• Accepting without judging

When acts of kindness and care giving disappear, it is an indication the relationship

needs help. Plus when you are kind-hearted to your partner, it increases your own happiness at least as much as the other person's.

A hug and kiss every morning before leaving each other for the day; Clean their car; pick some flowers; Set the table and help with dishes; find other ways to say “I love you” other than saying it, leave short messages to make your partner laugh; quietly hold hands for some moments; show-off your spouse in the public; mid-day call check-up call is great and surprise preparing of partner’s favourite meal are common way. It is however important not to expect payback, other than a thank you. You're not supposed to blow the trumpet of what you are doing.

Small acts, big love