"He has never hit me before..I am so confused. What should I do?"

"I cannot forgive my boyfriend. I am 24, and he is 26 and we have a 2 year old relationship. He is very short tempered. He has never hit me before, but this beating that he gave me is just so terrible. He beat me to the extent that I went unclad in our compound, and everyone had to see my indecency. As I write, my left eye is swollen and I got discharged from the hospital yesterday. What should I do? I love him very much, but what I feel for him now is hatred. He has been apologizing since then, but I feel so bad for what he did. His parents, friends and pastor have been begging me to accept him back, but it seems so impossible. I am so confused. What should I do?"

CJ

 

 

Counsel: This shouldn’t be about giving him a second chance into to your life because the next disagreement might leave you dead instead of unconscious. A man hits you repeatedly; cares less about uncovering your nakedness; leaves marks on your face and body and you had to be hospitalized; that is more that losing his temper. He really should be locked up, and if you decide not do so, that should be the extent of compassion.

If his parents and friends want you alive, they won’t advise that. Tell his pastor the Bible says in Proverbs 22 verse 24 “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go.”

There’s nothing confusing about this, expect he has hit the decision making part of your brain during the beat up. When people tell you “no man is perfect”, “every man deserves a second chance”, or “forgive and forget”; remind them those phrases are extended to humans (men), not anyone acting animalistic.

Dear CJ,

Pick yourself from this abuse and reorder your life. Pay more attention to the characters and words of whoever else you allow into your life. This incident didn’t occur out of the blue, you just didn’t note the signs it showed before time – how he talks and looks, attempts to terrify you and such. In clear words, a relationship with such being – as I find it hard and disgracing to call him a man- should not be an option for any decent lady.

All the best