Lincoln speaks:
I left home – Johannesburg three months ago because I was feeling so suffocated; away from Lynda my ex – girlfriend whom I was suppose to marry a month ago.
Lynda and I had been together for seven years and we lived together all through. My family got to meet her during the first year but never really liked her- guess they saw something I didn’t – but notably voiced their opinion in the third year. Prior to that time, rumours had been in the air that “my girlfriend wasn't who I thought she was” but I never entertained those rumours for the past five years because I thought talebearers were just being jealous.
Decayed secrets came to open five months ago when I had to go on an official three weeks trip to kokstad but returned earlier than expected. On getting back, I couldn’t find Lynda at home and there decided to go see Ken – my ‘supposed’ friend who lives about 40mins from my house. On getting there, Ken appeared oddly unsettled and was persuading me to leave because he had a guest. Just as I decided to be on my way out, the “guest” unaware of my presence strolls out of the bedroom casually and dressed topless with just boxers.
That event unfolded many others, one of which revealed the three year old girl I had fathered from birth isn’t my biological daughter. I felt too ashamed and betrayed but had to face my family and inform them I had cancelled the wedding. I lost my friends, money and became a laughing stock in the community I grew up.
For the first time in my life, I felt what it meant for the ‘world around me to come crumbling down’. I got so depressed, over a thousand times I considered suicide as a way as a way out but I knew I was just feeling I wanted to die, whereas in reality, I want to be saved.
I left home – Johannesburg three months ago because I was feeling so suffocated; away from Lynda my ex – girlfriend whom I was suppose to marry a month ago.
Lynda and I had been together for seven years and we lived together all through. My family got to meet her during the first year but never really liked her- guess they saw something I didn’t – but notably voiced their opinion in the third year. Prior to that time, rumours had been in the air that “my girlfriend wasn't who I thought she was” but I never entertained those rumours for the past five years because I thought talebearers were just being jealous.
That event unfolded many others, one of which revealed the three year old girl I had fathered from birth isn’t my biological daughter. I felt too ashamed and betrayed but had to face my family and inform them I had cancelled the wedding. I lost my friends, money and became a laughing stock in the community I grew up.
For the first time in my life, I felt what it meant for the ‘world around me to come crumbling down’. I got so depressed, over a thousand times I considered suicide as a way as a way out but I knew I was just feeling I wanted to die, whereas in reality, I want to be saved.
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