Desperate and Insecure

Uneasiness, worry, unwarranted concern and fear of losing your partner in a relationship all mount to insecurity, and possibly, acts desperation. The blunt truth is that those attributes alienate people and moves you a mile closer to losing your partner. Without trust, respect and understanding, it is very difficult to have a healthy relationship with anyone. Insecurities further reduce the chances of experiential intimacy both in communication and emotions.

Acts of desperation nauseates the other person and all he/she would want to do after some time is put an end to the relationship. Some acts of insecurity are either introduced indirectly as jokes or spoken bluntly; but in all cases, they end up been irritating even to neutral folks that notice these actions. You need to watch out for these actions and ensure you are not the one tearing down your ‘beloved’ relationship.

 

1. Getting competitive with your partner: This only shows how far from "in-love" you are. Genuine emotional affection leaves no room for intra-relationship competition. If you notice frequent comparisons intra-relationship, you should sit down and check the root of it.
2. Popping up out of the blue: Making it seem like a surprise but its actually to satisfy your curiosity of whether your mate is cheating on you. You need get a grip of yourself if you do this. In this case, not only did you entertain and nurture the thought but also acted on it a great deal – you didn’t stop yourself till you got over there and saw. Where's the trust? 
3. Violating your partner’s privacy: This is very common and is done under the charade of “keeping no secrets from your partner”. To start with, not all secrets are bad and everyone needs some privacy. ‘Alone time’ from his/her partner to breath and prevent been suffocated in the bubble of ‘relationship’ is healthy for relationships. When you find yourself snooping into his/her phone call log, messages, emails or appointments, especially when he/she is doesn’t know and won't appreciate it, then you are already stalking and that’s just irritating.
4. 
   Is your partner already asking for some space and time to be alone? You really need to check yourself if you haven’t been portraying some desperate attitudes. If you have been acting too clingy and needy, you need to know that is far from romantic.
5. How many call and text messages do you send? Especially when he didn’t replied the last ones you sent? Quite frankly, that has a 90% chance of annoying anyone. Its exploded desperation.
6. Experiencing emotional distress because your partner stepped out of the house: That’s just nauseating. He/she is been gone for less than a hour and your mind is already wondering about of his/her wear about not for safety reasons but because you think he might be with another man/lady. You need to take the chill pill.
7. Do you ask his/her close friend for your partner’s wear about, especially when you want to check if it corresponds with what your partner told you? Do you keep close friendship with your partner’s family so you’ll have updates of what going on in her life? If yes, that’s just sad. Your knowledge of his/her best friend or family isn’t for you to have a “hawk watch” over your partner. It falls under stalking.
8. Do you get home saying “You can’t guess how many men tried to hit on me today?” Well, if they include Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington, then maybe we can make it a subject. People that bring up such do so in order to present themselves more enticing to the world so their partner would act more desperate towards them. Whereas, that is a manipulativedesperate move!
9. How do you look when he/she is relating with the opposite gender? Do you make it an issue to ask “what was she/he saying?” after your partner returns? There are people that don’t react to their partner’s interaction with the opposite sex but wait for the next disagreement...It’s going to be one of the highlights! “I saw your face when you were talking to him/her”. It is funny to say but harmful to relationships.

If you’re too insecure and emotionally penurious, your partner would have a reason to leave. No man/woman should be the end of the world for you. If he/she goes, you’ll have another and even a person of better personality; therefore, no need to act desperate. On the hand, if your partner has been acting different in behaviour and less attentive to you, then you call his/her attention to it but not by stalking and snooping around in search “proofs” (that may not exist). If you’re right and your partner values you and the relationship you share, he/she would surely change.