Relationship: While Stressing "Change" to Your Partner

When you try changing someone you claim to love, be ready for any of these predisposed responses. The person would ask:

1. Why is there a need for me to change, I am doing perfectly fine!

2. Why should you ask me to change, can’t you accept me as I am? 

3. Why should I change and even if I have, why should I listen to you?

4. Oh! Do you think you are God! Even God cannot ask me that!

5. Why should I change if I am not convinced there is something wrong about it?

6. If I have to change, only I shall decide, no one has the right to judge me.

7. I am open to change but only for someone who first accepts me as I am.

8. I would change only for someone who loves me blindly.

9. I accept changes but it would be tough as I was made this way.

10. Give me time, I am a not good at it! Etc. 

You may think, if a person loves you, he or she should use nice language with you and should not be a boozer or a gambler. However, for that person, love is only an expression of his/her self and his/her “self” already accepts abuse and boozing as acceptable things for his or her living's wellness.

If you attempt to reason it out with him or her that if he/she loves you, he/she should stop abuse and booze, he/she would first of all look confused. He/she would not even understand why you are saying this. Because, he/she (his/her subconscious mind), does not see any contradiction and conflict in it. Most likely, he or she shall take your words of reasoning as a threat to the balance of his or her wellness and would likely to go away. Nobody can compromise with his or her long preserved balance.

Actually, this person loved you because you fitted in his or her larger scheme of balance and wellness. Now when you have put up ideas, which disturb his or her balance, his/her sense of wellness is threatened and compromised. He or she is likely to stop loving you, or shall be unsettled and erratic in his or her action-behavior.