Relationships: Direction or Speed??

 

What matters isn't how long you've been in a relationship but whether or not you're in the 'right' relationship.  Many single people are often overwhelmed by been single; and wouldn't mind been in a relationship with just anybody.  You should wait till you find the right person. A wrong relationship can cause so much destruction to your life and wellness balance.  Wrong relationship brings regrets and causes damage to your psychological and emotional being.   Desperation for "just any relationship" has even resulted in death - suicides and murders. Please be wise.

Relationship: While Stressing "Change" to Your Partner

When you try changing someone you claim to love, be ready for any of these predisposed responses. The person would ask:

1. Why is there a need for me to change, I am doing perfectly fine!

2. Why should you ask me to change, can’t you accept me as I am? 

3. Why should I change and even if I have, why should I listen to you?

4. Oh! Do you think you are God! Even God cannot ask me that!

5. Why should I change if I am not convinced there is something wrong about it?

6. If I have to change, only I shall decide, no one has the right to judge me.

7. I am open to change but only for someone who first accepts me as I am.

8. I would change only for someone who loves me blindly.

9. I accept changes but it would be tough as I was made this way.

10. Give me time, I am a not good at it! Etc. 

You may think, if a person loves you, he or she should use nice language with you and should not be a boozer or a gambler. However, for that person, love is only an expression of his/her self and his/her “self” already accepts abuse and boozing as acceptable things for his or her living's wellness.

If you attempt to reason it out with him or her that if he/she loves you, he/she should stop abuse and booze, he/she would first of all look confused. He/she would not even understand why you are saying this. Because, he/she (his/her subconscious mind), does not see any contradiction and conflict in it. Most likely, he or she shall take your words of reasoning as a threat to the balance of his or her wellness and would likely to go away. Nobody can compromise with his or her long preserved balance.

Actually, this person loved you because you fitted in his or her larger scheme of balance and wellness. Now when you have put up ideas, which disturb his or her balance, his/her sense of wellness is threatened and compromised. He or she is likely to stop loving you, or shall be unsettled and erratic in his or her action-behavior.

While waiting for love

While searching for the "right one" to love and be your partner, you should not hesitate to make a list of what you want with your partner and do not settle for less. You need to be very satisfied indeed before committing

and this is not a warning not to commit yourself long engagements.

A relationship like this would always lead somewhere and it is not just another love affair.

An example of a sensible list is

(1) intelligence,

(2) connection,

(3) personality,

(4) smart and

(5) sexy.

Usually, you’ll find more lovely things than you “humanly” wished for.

You need to understand that in life also you find different kinds of love. For instance, the love you have for your parents is very different way from the way you love your wife. And then there is soul mate love which is all encompassing and beyond description or understanding. It is just pure love and emotion combined with caring and desire for each other, for it is never platonic in any way shape or form.

Two genuine lovers are in constant amazement of each other and can hardly believe their luck that the other one is in love with them. They cannot even think they deserved the other one and thus treasure each other beyond words. There is really nothing on this earth or in eternity which will be able to keep them apart or break them up.