Men and Infidelity

Falling in love is the most wonderful and exciting thing ever, but women are frequently afraid of falling in love with a man because of the worry “he might cheat on me down the line”. Indeed, a cheating boyfriend/husband is every woman’s worst nightmare. If infidelity is often at the back of your mind, it’s now considered okay to say you are not been paranoid. Why? Studies and surveys have shown over 50-60% of all married men have an affair at least once in their married lives. There’s good news you have 50% chance a man might not cheat you. But still, with a 50-50 chance of infidelity poisoning your relationship in the future calls you to alertness.

There are basically three reasons a man might cheat on you. Understanding those might help you.

He wasn’t ready: This reason for cheating is entirely the guy’s fault. There are a lot of men out there who think handing a relationship is a piece of cake. But when the rigours and responsibilities of a serious relationship comes flying in, they turn around and run. Here they run craving their bachelor-single-unattached-free life. Never rush into a relationship because it takes so much to keep it going.

He got bore or unhappy: If he got bored or unhappy in the relationship, the woman 'may' have played a part it that. After all, it is important you do your part in keeping the relationship happy. A happy relationship entails two happy partners. The problem here is most partners sit and wait for the other to make the first move before they do their part. Do your part whether he’s doing his or not. That way, you don’t have yourself to blame when issues go out of hand.

He succumbs to pressure: Let’s be honest here, the entertainment industry, society and friends suggest it is “ok” if not “cool” for guys to have affairs. By accepting it as a norm due to it frequency, this is how every single one of us echoes the same sentiment. Some guys can bow to pressure of cheating just to ‘fit in’. It is crazy but true. If we accept it, then we must accept the heart-breaking consequences when it happens to you, your sister, daughter or friend. Speaking of pressure, the pouring pressure of relationship/marriage on a man can also lead to infidelity.

For unmarried folks, examine a typical case that occurs 7 in 10 chances. Within two weeks of the first date, they’re already going steady. Before the first month, they “sleep together”. Then just few months later, during the relationship, they start getting bored and unhappy, feeling stressed and later its bores down to venting frustrations at each other. Before you know it, they separate ways. Those that get married few months right after the “sleeping together” phase start witness fades in initial attraction and excitement…they also start feeling bored, unhappy, entrapped and that leads to arguments, disagreements, fights and eventually separate ways.

Lack of preparedness, boredom, dissatisfaction, peer pressure can be avoided by simply building your relationship on solid foundation. Then you are likely safe from infidelity. Remember the work of “relationship preservation” is continuous.

A Lady's Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is important for every young lady. It is self-discovery that makes you know what is good for you and what is not. Until you discover who you are, what works for you, who you what to be and how you wish your future pans out, you are still a “baby” irrespective of your age or displayed feminine features.

If you are yet to discover yourself, how do you know the man who genuinely deserves you? Discovering yourself would make you appreciate and cherish the “you” in you as a woman more than ever.

This surely isn't to make you pompous or unruly but make decisions that propel you to a better future and project you as a respectable woman.

***No man messes around with a woman who has discovered herself; for she is as a perceptive lioness. Patient, quick, smart, logical, intellectual, disciplined and always a beauty***

Genevieve Nnaji's Explanation for been single..

If we may, let's take a cue from Genevieve Nnaji who is yet to get married and explains what her
“As for marriage, it’s every woman’s dream to get married. We can’t lie to ourselves. I do want to get married but overtime I have had opportunities to get married but I realize getting married is not actually the problem. The problem is finding someone you are compatible with because I’m born Catholic, I’m raised Catholic, I don’t believe in divorce. If I get married, I really want to stay married and staying married is not an easy thing. It means you are completely in tune with your partner. It means you’ve found your soul mate because you’ll have to be able to stand a lot of disappointments that would definitely come but then again you have to learn to forgive.

For me, before I choose a partner I have to ask myself if this is the kind of person I would be willing to forgive no matter what when the time comes. If the answer is no, then that person is wrong for me. That person is not the person you want to get married to. If you know you can look into someone’s eyes and say yes, this is the most you can do to me. If you actually cheat on me the first time, I can find it in my heart to forgive you. If you can answer that question honestly and truthfully to yourself then you’ll know if that person is your partner or not. So compatibility is the word aside from the physical attributes that have to go with it.

I need to be comfortable because I’m a woman and I’m used to a certain lifestyle.”

criteria are for choosing her right partner, She said:

DON'T be SUSPICIOUS

Suspicion creates a form of doubt and negative image of the person that is suspected. It breeds worry and fear even if it lack an element of truth. When you become suspicious, it will affect the trust level of your relationship. Suspicions suck out the life and fun in a relationship. Many people have been wrongly blamed just because a previous suspicious act was not properly discussed. Don't create an avenue to be suspected rather discuss any issues that can lead to suspicion. Be open in discussion and avoid secrecy. It's that simple.

DO NOT dwell on RESIDUAL knowledge

A lot of us usually believe we have what it takes to handle our relationship in terms of knowledge and wisdom. But we often dwell on our residual knowledge and this will not help us. For us to experience bliss in our relationship, we have carefully outline this mistake in order to avoid it. We need more experiences and ideas from people who have practical and proven knowledge about relationships. Read books, attend seminars and listen to educative programs. This will equip you with the knowledge to handle your relationship.

 

Ask questions ...yes. But from reliable people and endeavor to provide the full context so your advisor would fully comprehend the situation.  

 

NEVER live a FALSE life

Many people live less than their true self by trying to be the perfect picture in other's frame just to please them. This will make them function less than their original self and regret it on the long run. A question to pounder on is "till when do you plan to keep up the lie"? Some lie about their finances, abilities and/or personality. This charade is purely dangerous and leads to a disastrous end emotionally and psychologically.  

Try to be yourself and live your best. It is better that you are accepted the way you are than to be accepted for who you are not. Don't make the mistake of living a false life, it shows you lack originality and stability.

Money in relationships

It is no secret that money has been the doom of many relationships. As the holy Bible says, “For the love of money is the root of all evil...” and another portion says “money answereth all things”.
Contradicting?? I doubt. Whether married or in a long-term relationship, improper handling or spending of money in a relationship has been the source of many arguments and conflicts of various gravity and inadequacy has robbed many relationship of fun and adventure in some cases or infliction of more problems in others.

Love is greater than money – at least that’s the way it should be. The mechanics of a healthy relationship should of course be love and passion, honesty and acceptance, communication and openness, friendship and attraction, compatibility and selflessness, faithfulness and respect, trust and the other good qualities you’re most likely listing in your mind as you read this. If we are both right, how come money had and has an extensive grip on most relationships?

The power and influence of money really transcends human’s primary conscious psychology. I mean we make many if not most actions with knowing it’s the money commanding and most times, the way we talk; our choice of words and manner of speaking is influenced.

Money doesn’t have to be the relationship wrecker if only we could

·         Freely talk about money

·         Handle money

·         Have right attitude towards money

·         And use money properly like it should be instead of it manipulating us.

For many, money creates fear, dishonesty and some other misbehavior because of how volatile it is.

Simple things can cause the biggest problems. Like?

1. Living above your earning isn’t a wise way to exist. It is necessary to be honest with yourself and then your partner/finance instead of been unrealistic...faking lifestyles. Never hide your debt because they might surface in the future of your relationship and look much uglier that when you made them.

2. Never attempt to get love with money. It cannot be overstated that money is volatile. If ever you make money the basis of your relationship, what would you do when it "goes"? Are you thinking now?

Yes money is important and can be used to express love. Ensure whoever wants you loves you for "YOU" and not basically because of your money.

Talking about money should be carefully approached and respectfully concluded.

Usually in a relationship, there is "plenty saver" and the "heavy spender". It isn’t wrong. However, when your partner overspends beyond your comfort level, it most definitely would scare you that you are gradually been dragged to a “breaking point”. This is when a sit down and re-evaluation is important.